-taking up his time all for
nothing--depend upon it she wouldn't have gone up if he hadn't been so
nice-looking!

_First F.S._ I wouldn't like to think _that_ of her myself; but,
anyhow, she didn't get much by it, did she? He soon sent _her_
packing!

_Male Spectator_ (_to a Woman in front of him_). Evening, Mrs.
MIDGELLY--I see they've got your good man up on the platform.

_Mrs. M._ He _will_ go, Mr. BUDKIN! He's gone up every night the
'Ipnotiser's been here, and says he feels it's going to do him good.
So this evening I said I'd come in too, and judge for myself. What
good he expects to get, laying there like a damp dishclout, _I_ don't
know!

[_Meanwhile the Hypnotist has borrowed a silver-handled
umbrella from the audience, and thrust it before the faces of
one or two loutish-looking youths, who immediately begin to
squint horribly and follow the silver-top with their noses,
till they knock their heads together._

_Mr. Budkin_ (_to Mrs. MIDGELLY_). He's going to give your husband a
turn of it now.

[_The umbrella-handle is applied to Mr. M., a feeble-looking
little man with a sandy top-knot; he grovels after the
silver-top when it is depressed, and makes futile attempts to
clamber up the umbrella after it when it is held aloft._

_Mrs. M._ (_severely_). I haven't patience to look at him. A _Kitten_
'ud have had more sense!

_The Hyp._ (_calling up one of the heavy youths_). Can you whistle,
Sir? Yes? Then whistle something. (_The Youth whistles a popular air
in a lugubrious tone._) Now you _can't_ whistle--try. (_The Youth
tries--and produces nothing but a close imitation of an air-cushion
that is being unscrewed._) Now, if I were not to wake him up, this
young gentleman's friends would never enjoy the benefit of his whistle
again!

_Voice from a Back Row_. _Don't_ wake him, Guv'nor, we can _bear_ it!

_Hyp._ (_after restoring the lost talent, and calling up another
Youth, somewhat smartly attired_). Now, Sir, what do you drink?

_The Youth_ (_with a sleepy candour_). Beer when I can get 'old of it.

_A Friend of his in Audience_. JIM's 'aving a lark with him--he said
as 'ow he meant to kid him like--_he_ ain't 'ipnotised, bless yer!

_Hyp._ But you like water, too, don't you? (_JIM admits this--in
moderation._) Try this. (_He gives him a tumbler of water._) Is that
good water?

_Jim_ (_smacking his lips_). That's good water enough, Sir.

_Hyp._ It's bad wat