tly upright,
And who would not view it with pity
Return, mud-bespattered, at night?
When early, so polished and glowing,
Jammed on at haphazard when late;
It forms a barometer, showing
His mood up to date.

And you, who are young and unmarried,
Give heed to my counsel, I pray;
Do not, I entreat you, be carried
By wealth or affection away;
The heroine, novelists mention,
"Eyes fondly his features." Instead,
Observe, for _your_ part, with attention,
The hat on his head!

* * * * *

A NEW COLLECTION OF _HIMS_, ANCIENT AND MODERN.--The Church Congress
at Folkestone.

* * * * *

LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.

_Mount Street, Grosvenor Square._

DEAR MR. PUNCH,

We were not overcrowded last week at Newmarket, and really the more
one takes racing from a business point of view, the more attractive it
becomes!--at least, I have found it so myself ever since it has been
my duty to acquire information for the benefit of my readers.

There was only one thing that annoyed me during the week, and that
was the inconsiderate behaviour of _Windgall_ in winning the October
Handicap, although it was a most extraordinary confirmation of my
remarks anent his performance in the Leicester Handicap, in my last
letter; but it _is_ annoying that, when you select a horse to win a
race, he runs _second_, and directly after wins a race for which he is
_not_ selected, beating the horse chosen by a length!--it puzzles me
completely, as it is impossible in this case to put it down to want
of good breeding! We were sorry not to have the _Buccaneer-Orvieto_
match decided, as it would have been the event of the meeting; but,
as the old proverb runs, "a wise owner is merciful to his beast," so
_Orvieto_ had an afternoon's rest at the price of L100!--rather more
than some people might be inclined to pay for a game of forfeits!

The time is not yet ripe--(has anyone _ever_ seen time get ripe, I
wonder?)--for disclosing what I know about the Cesarewitch--(I never
know whether I've spelt that correctly or not!--and the more you look
at it the "wronger" it seems!)--but I may mention that I've heard
great accounts of _Kingkneel_, who was bought the other day for Sir
GREENASH BURNLEY (the latest favourite of fortune, and beloved of
the ring)--and had he not earned a penalty--(this expression ought
to be changed, as it implies, to my mind