king who put at the bottom of every
trouble and mischief a woman."

"Fine estimate."

"Correct one. Evidently he had studied the genus thoroughly, and had a
poor opinion of it."

"No wonder."

"Amazing! _you_ say 'no wonder'! Astounding words! speak them again."

"No wonder,--seeing that he had a mother, and that she had such a son.
He must needs have been a bad fellow or a fool to have originated so
base a philosophy, and how then could he respect the source of such a
stream as himself?"

"Sir Launcelot,--squire of dames!"

"Not Sir Launcelot, but squire of dames, I hope."

"There you go again! Now I shall query once more, who is she?"

"No woman."

"No?"

"No, though by your smiling you would seem to say so!"

"Nay, I believe you, and am vastly relieved in the believing. Take
advice from ten years of superior age, and fifty of experience, and have
naught to do with them. Dost hear?"

"I do."

"And will heed?"

"Which?--the words or the acts of my counsellor? who, of a surety,
preaches wisely and does foolishly, or who does wisely and preaches
foolishly; for preaching and practice do not agree."

"Nay, man, thou art unreasonable; to perform either well is beyond the
capacity of most humans, and I desire not to be blessed above my
betters. Then let my rash deeds and my prudent words both be teachers
unto thee. But if it be true that no woman is responsible for your grave
countenance this morning, then am I wasting words, and will return to
our muttons. What ails you?"

"I am belligerent."

"I see,--that means quarrelsome."

"And hopeless."

"Bad,--very! belligerent and hopeless! When you go into a fight always
expect to win; the thought is half the victory."

"Suppose you are an atom against the universe?" "Don't fight, succumb.
There's a proverb,--a wise one,--Napoleon's, 'God is on the side of the
strongest battalions.'"

"A lie,--exploded at Waterloo. There's another proverb, 'One on the side
of God is a majority.' How about that?"

"Transcendental humbug."

"A truth demonstrated at Wittenberg."

"Are you aching for the martyr's palm?"

"I am afraid not. On the whole, I think I'd rather enjoy life than
quarrel with it. But"--with a sudden blaze--"I feel to-day like fighting
the world."

"Hey, presto! what now, young'un?"

"I don't wonder you stare"--a little laugh. "I'm talking like a fool,
and, for aught I know, feeling like one, aching to fight, and knowing
that I might as w