him on the head,
and takes the tambourine away--at which_ ALF _only smiles
feebly._

_Chorley._ It's a pity he gets so 'ot dancing, and he don't seem to
keep in step with the others.

_Miss S._ (_secretly disappointed_). He isn't used to doing the
double-shuffle on sand, that's all.

_The Conductor_. Bones, I observe we have a recent addition to our
Company. Perhaps he'll favour us with a solo. (_Aside to Bones._) 'Oo
is he? 'Oo let him in 'ere--_you_?

_Bones_. _I_ dunno. I thought _you_ did. Ain't he stood nothing?

_Conductor_. Not a brass farden!

_Bones_ (_outraged_). All right, you leave him to me. (_To ALF._) Kin
it be? That necktie! them familiar coat-buttons! that paper-dicky! You
are--you _are_ my long-lost Convick Son, 'ome from Portland! Come to
these legs! (_He embraces ALF, and smothers him with kisses._) Oh,
you've been and rubbed off some of your cheek on my complexion--you
_dirty_ boy! (_He playfully "bashes" ALF's hat in._) Now show the
comp'ny how pretty you can sing. (_ALF attempts a Music-hall ditty,
in which he, not unnaturally, breaks down._) It ain't my son's fault,
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's all this little gal in front here, lookin'
at him and makin' him shy! (_To a small Child, severely._) You
oughter know _worse_, you ought! (_Clumps of sea-weed and paper-balls
are thrown at ALF, who by this time is looking deplorably warm and
foolish._) Oh, what a popilar fav'rite he is to be sure!

_Charley_ (_to Miss S._). Poor fellow, he ain't no match 'for those
Niggers--not like he is now! Hadn't I better go to the rescue, Miss
Loo?

_Miss S._ (_pettishly_). I'm sure I don't care _what_ you do.

[_"CHORLEY" succeeds, after some persuasion, in removing the
unfortunate ALF._

_Alf._ (_rejoining his fiancee with a grimy face, a smashed hat, and a
pathetic attempt at a grin_). Well? I _done_ it, you see!

_Miss S._ (_crushingly_). Yes, you _have_ done it! And the best thing
you can do now, is to go home and wash your face. _I_ don't care to
be seen about with a _laughing-stock_, I can assure you! I've had my
dignity lowered quite enough as it is!

_Alf_. But look 'ere, my dear girl, I can't leave you here all by
yourself, you know!

_Miss S._ I daresay Mr. PERKINS will take care of me.

[_Mr. P. assents, with effusion._

_Alf._ (_watching them move away--with bitterness_). I wish
all Niggers were put down by Act of Parliament, I do! Downright
noosances--that's what _