und on his old pals for doing what he helped them to do, it follows
that he himself must never try to do better. Which is absurd! Go it,
JOE!"_)

IV.--_SURREJOINDER FROM "HONEST JOHN."_

"My 'theory' ain't a bit wot the B.B. says it is. My 'theory' is that
it's mean, and unfair, and unperfessional to curry favour with one's
present backers by 'olding hup one's old pals to public redicule
for doing wot we 'elped 'em to do, and at the time praised 'em _for_
doin'. I call that 'hitting below the belt!' And I believe every
'onest and manly Pug from FIGG to SAYERS would ha' said ditter to
''Onest JOHN.' That's all, Gemmen!"

(_Comment of the I.B.H. "Bosh! JOE's style of hitting is no doubt
uncomfortable--for the Old 'Un and his pals. THAT'S EXACTLY WHY WE
LIKE IT! What's the use of hitting above the belt only when the foe's
only vulnerable below it? We rejoice to see the B.B. knocking the
sawdust out of the Grand Old Fistic Fetish, and squelching the cant
and claptrap out of 'Honest JOHN.'"_)

* * * * *

STORICULES.

VII.--GAZEY.

"You're the fust pineter whort I've knowed," said JULIA SANBY,
demurely. "Father works at a plumber's, but 'e ain't industr'us. 'E
ain't a good man. An' mother drinks. Orful!"

JULIA SANBY had consented, in consideration of money received, to let
me make a sketch of her. She was a tall thin child, with a dirty and
very intelligent face, great grey eyes, and long reddish hair. She was
very bright and talkative; and yet she amazed me by being distinctly
sanctimonious. She looked critically round my studio on her entrance.

[Illustration]

"You ain't got no tex' 'ung up," she remarked, disparagingly. "We 'as
two tex' in our kitching. I 'ung 'em up myself. An' father beat me for
it. But I didn't keer, 'cos I knew I wos doin' good."

She pressed her thin lips together, and looked like a mangled martyr.

"Do you go to Sunday School?" I asked, as I got to work.

"I goes reggler, an' I'm first in the School, and I knows more colics
than any of 'em, excep' teachers. I ain't like GAZEY."

"Who's GAZEY?"

"She's a girl what I 'ites. She's a bad girl. We calls 'er GAZEY, 'cos
it's short for GEHAZI; but that ain't 'er real nime. She's a liar.
She's allus tellin' lies--seems as if she couldn't storp doin' it."
JULIA SANBY sighed sadly.

"What kind of lies?"

"She don't tell no lies to get 'erself out of nothin'; 'cos she's so
bad that she don't keer whort row