tunately for me this is not the case. I have mentioned already that
at times I am indifferent to them. Life carries me along, and although
in the main I know what to think of its hollow pleasures, I give
myself up to it altogether, and then the moral "to be, or not to be"
has no meaning for me. A strange thing, about the power of which not
much has been said, is the influence of social suggestion on the mind.
In Paris, for instance, I feel happier not only because the continual
mill deafens me,--I am swallowed up by the surging masses, and my
mind is diverted by tricks of the fencing ring,--but also because the
people there, without being conscious of it, live as if it were worth
their while to put all their energies into this life, and as if beyond
there was nothing but a chemical process. My pulse begins to beat in
unison with theirs; I feel myself in harmony with my surroundings;
amuse myself or bore myself, conquer or am conquered, but enjoy a
comparative rest.

ROME, BABUINO, 13 January.

I have only four days left before my departure, and will now sum up
what I said about myself. I am an individual rather worn out, very
sensitive, and of a highly nervous temperament. I have a strongly
developed consciousness of self, seconded by comparative culture, and
taken altogether, may consider myself an intellectually developed
being.

My scepticism debars me from all firm convictions. I look, observe,
criticise, sometimes fancy I get hold of some essential truth, but
am ready always to doubt even that. I have already said all that was
necessary in reference to religion. As to my social creed I am a
conservative so far as a man in my position is bound to be, and so
far as conservatism suits me. No need to mention that I am far from
considering conservatism as a dogma, which no one is allowed to touch
or to criticise. I am too much civilized to take a party view of
either aristocracy or democracy. I leave that as a pastime to those
who live in the country, or in remote places where ideas, like
fashions, are some ten years late. From the time when privileges were
done away with, the question has been closed; but in remoter parts,
where the world remains more or less stagnant, it has become not
so much a question of principle as rather a question of vanity and
nerves. In regard to myself, I like well-bred people,--people with
brains and nerves, and look for them where they are most readily
found. I like them as I like wo