and
holy thoughts of my head and heart--but if my religion is worth a straw,
such verse-writing will not disturb it.

_January 16th_.--I wonder what's got into me to-day--I feel cross,
without the least bit of reason for so feeling. I guess I'm not well,
for I'm sure I've felt like one great long sunbeam, I don't know how
many months, and it doesn't come natural to be fretful.

_17th_.--I knew I wasn't well yesterday and to-day am half sick. We got
through breakfast at twenty minutes to eleven, and as I was up at seven,
I got kind o' hungry and out of sorts. This afternoon went to church and
heard one of Dr. E.'s argumentative sermons. But there's something in
those Prayer-book prayers, certainly, if men won't or can't put any
grace into their sermons. I wish I had a perfect ideal Sunday in my head
or heart, or both. If I'm _very_ good I'm tired at night, and if I'm bad
my conscience smites me--so any way I'm not very happy just now and I'm
sick and mean to go to bed and so!

_18th_.--Had a talk with Nannie. She has a thoughtful mind and who knows
but we may do her some good. I love to have her here, and for once in my
life like to feel a little bit--just the least bit--_old_; that is, old
enough to give a little sage advice to the poor thing, when she asks it.
She says she won't read any more novels and will read the Bible and dear
knows what else she said about finding an angel for me to marry, which
heaven forbid she should do, since I'm too fond of being a little mite
naughty, to desire anything of that sort. After she was in bed she began
to say her prayers most vehemently and among other things, prayed for
Miss Payson. I had the strangest sensation, and yet an almost heavenly
one, if I may say so. May it please Heaven to listen to her prayer for
me, and mine for her, dear child. But suppose I do her no good while she
lives so under my wing?

_19th._--Up early--walked and read Leighton. Mr. P. amused us at dinner
by giving a funny account in his funny way, of a mistake of E.----
H.----'s. She asked me the French for _as_. "Aussi" quoth I. Thereupon
she tucked a great O. C. into her exercise and took it to him and they
jabbered and sputtered over it, and she insisted that Miss Payson said
so and he put his face right into hers and said, "Will you try to prove
that Miss Payson is a fool, you little goose?" and at last Miss A.
understood and explained. Read Leighton after school and thirty-two
pages of Lamartine--