ne
on upon his business. But coming as it did, when the temperature of his
heart was lowered by nip of disappointment, it went into him, as water
on a duck's back is not cast away when his rump gland is out of order.

"A warm room, good victuals, and cheerful society--these three are
indispensable," said Dr. Stirbacks to Mr. Mordacks, over whom he began
to try to tyrannize; "and admirable as you are, my good sir, I fear
that your society is depressing. You are always in a fume to be doing
something--a stew, I might say, without exaggeration--a wonderful
pattern of an active mind. But in a case of illness we require the
passive voice. Everything suggestive of rapid motion must be removed,
and never spoken of. You are rapid motion itself, my dear sir. We get a
relapse every time you come in."

"You want me out of the way. Very well. Let me know when you have killed
my friend. I suppose your office ends with that. I will come down and
see to his funeral."

"Mr. Mordacks, you may be premature in such prevision. Your own may come
first, sir. Look well at your eyes the next time you shave, and I fear
you will descry those radiant fibres in the iris which always co-exist
with heart-disease. I can tell you fifty cases, if you have time to
listen."

"D--n your prognostics, sir!" exclaimed the factor, rudely; but
he seldom lathered himself thenceforth without a little sigh of
self-regard. "Now, Dr. Stirbacks," he continued, with a rally, "you
may find my society depressing, but it is generally considered to be
elevating; and that, sir, by judges of the highest order, and men of
independent income. The head of your profession in the northern half of
England, who takes a hundred guineas for every one you take, rejoices,
sir--rejoices is not too strong a word to use--in my very humble
society. Of course he may be wrong; but when he hears that Mr.
Stirbacks, of Little Under-Bempton--is that the right address,
sir?--speaks of my society as depressing--"

"Mr. Mordacks, you misunderstood my meaning. I spoke with no reference
to you whatever, but of all male society as enervating--if you dislike
the word 'depressing'--relaxing, emollient, emasculating, from want of
contradictory element; while I was proceeding to describe the need of
strictly female society. The rector offers this; he was here just
now. His admiration for you is unbounded. He desires to receive our
distinguished patient, with the vast advantage of ladies' society,