o earn more money. One of
his children was dead, but the other two were growing in health of mind
and body, and he could clothe them better, could look forward to their
future, at last, without that sinking of the heart which at times had
made him pause by night on one of the river bridges and long for a
moment's madness that he might plunge and have done with everything.
Few men had come out of darkness into the light of a sober working day
with less help than he had had. It was his nature to keep silence on
his difficulties. He did not much care to hold continuous friendship
with any man, for, like all who have the habit of talking to
themselves, he was conscious that his companionship lacked attraction.
Moreover--a thing which superficial observers do not realise--like all
who are most genuinely at odds with the world, the first head of his
quarrel was with himself. He was only too well aware of his own defects
and errors. He felt himself to be unamiable, often gross of
understanding, always ready to fall into a blunder which other men
would avoid. He had stood in his own way as often as he had been balked
by others, perhaps oftener.

Now he was going to risk a step forward, was going to leave his single
room lodging and take two rooms in a brighter street some distance
away. They would be vacant for him a fortnight hence, and he had money
enough to buy furniture. Yet he did not look forward to the change as
cheerfully as might have been expected.

For one reason, and for one only, the old abode was preferable to him;
it was a reason of such weight that it cost him no little exertion of
common sense to put it aside. At the same time, it _had_ to be put
aside, and most resolutely, for, whenever it occupied his mind, he soon
found himself uttering contemptuous remarks upon his own thick-headed
folly. He would sometimes blurt out such words as
'fool--idiot--blockhead,' as he walked along the street, astonishing
passers-by who could not be supposed to know that the speaker was
applying these epithets to himself.

On Sunday evening, a day or two after the conversation just reported
between Jack and Totty, Bunce took his children to Battersea Park. When
there, he did not walk about among the people, but sought a retired
piece of lawn and sat down to enjoy a pipe. Nelly had brought a doll
with her, and found delectable occupation in explaining to it all the
various objects which might reasonably excite its curiosity in s