that I
detested such persons, and would be nearly choked with laughter at seeing
the discontented air with which I talked to them.
Falsehood and superstition were never to my taste.
The King was in the habit of saying, "Madame cannot endure unequal
marriages; she always ridicules them."
Although there are some most delightful walks at Versailles, no one went
out either on foot or in carriages but myself; the King observed this,
and said, "You are the only one who enjoys the beauties of Versailles."
All my life, even from my earliest years, I thought myself so ugly that I
did not like to be looked at. I therefore cared little for dress,
because jewels and decoration attract attention. As Monsieur loved to be
covered with diamonds, it was fortunate that I did not regard them, for,
otherwise, we should have quarrelled about who was to wear them. On
grand occasions Monsieur used formerly to make me dress in red; I did so,
but much against my inclination, for I always hated whatever was
inconvenient to me. He always ordered my dresses, and even used to paint
my cheeks himself.
I made the Countess of Soissons laugh very heartily once. She said to
me, "How is it, Madame, that you never look in a mirror when you pass it,
as everybody else does?"
I answered, "Because I have too great a regard for myself to be fond of
seeing myself look as ugly as I really am."
I was always attached to the King; and when he did anything disagreeable
to me it was generally to please Monsieur, whose favourites and my
enemies did all they could to embroil me with him, and through his means
with the King, that I might not be able to denounce them. It was natural
enough that the King should be more inclined to please his brother than
me; but when Monsieur's conscience reproached him, he repented of having
done me ill offices with the King, and he confessed this to the King; His
Majesty would then come to us again immediately, notwithstanding the
malicious contrivances of old Maintenon.
I have always had my own household, although during Monsieur's life I was
not the mistress of it, because all his favourites derived a share of
profit from it. Thus no one could buy any employment in my establishment
without a bribe to Grancey, to the Chevalier de Lorraine, to Cocard, or
to M. Spied. I troubled myself little about these persons; so long as
they continued to behave with proper respect towards me, I let them
alone; but when they presumed
|