fighting for the eight or the nine;
Don't quarrel so always, now why not combine."

Combine eight with nine. It is the mark;
Let that be the birthday. Amen! said the clerk.
So all got blind drunk, which completed their bliss,
And they've kept up the practice from that day to this.

"MANAGE TO KEEP HOUSE."

Senator John Sherman, of Ohio, introduced his brother, William T.
Sherman (then a civilian) to President Lincoln in March, 1861. Sherman
had offered his services, but, as in the case of Grant, they had been
refused.

After the Senator had transacted his business with the President, he
said: "Mr. President, this is my brother, Colonel Sherman, who is just
up from Louisiana; he may give you some information you want."

To this Lincoln replied, as reported by Senator Sherman himself: "Ah!
How are they getting along down there?"

Sherman answered: "They think they are getting along swimmingly; they
are prepared for war."

To which Lincoln responded: "Oh, well, I guess we'll manage to keep the
house."

"Tecump," whose temper was not the mildest, broke out on "Brother John"
as soon as they were out of the White House, cursed the politicians
roundly, and wound up with, "You have got things in a h--l of a fix, and
you may get out as best you can."

Sherman was one of the very few generals who gave Lincoln little or no
worry.

GRANT "TUMBLED" RIGHT AWAY.

General Grant told this story about Lincoln some years after the War:

"Just after receiving my commission as lieutenant-general the President
called me aside to speak to me privately. After a brief reference to
the military situation, he said he thought he could illustrate what he
wanted to say by a story. Said he:

"'At one time there was a great war among the animals, and one side had
great difficulty in getting a commander who had sufficient confidence in
himself. Finally they found a monkey by the name of Jocko, who said he
thought he could command their army if his tail could be made a little
longer. So they got more tail and spliced it on to his caudal appendage.

"'He looked at it admiringly, and then said he thought he ought to
have still more tail. This was added, and again he called for more. The
splicing process was repeated many times until they had coiled Jocko's
tail around the room, filling all the space.

"'Still he called for more tail, and, there being no other place to coil
it, they began wrapping it around his sh