mitopolis has come down like a trump; he has pocketed
the loss and left you the profit. What more would you have?" inquired
the lawyer.
"I conceive, sir, under correction, that Mr. Semitopolis's generosity
binds me to even greater exertion," said the drawing-master. "The whole
business was unfortunate; it was--I need not disguise it from you--it
was illegal from the first: the more reason that I should try to behave
like a gentleman," concluded Pitman, flushing.
"I have nothing to say to that," returned the lawyer. "I have sometimes
thought I should like to try to behave like a gentleman myself; only
it's such a one-sided business, with the world and the legal profession
as they are."
"Then, in the third," resumed the drawing-master, "if it's Uncle Tim, of
course, our fortune's made."
"It's not Uncle Tim, though," said the lawyer.
"Have you observed that very remarkable expression: _Something to his
advantage_?" inquired Pitman shrewdly.
"You innocent mutton," said Michael, "it's the seediest commonplace in
the English language, and only proves the advertiser is an ass. Let me
demolish your house of cards for you at once. Would Uncle Tim make that
blunder in your name?--in itself, the blunder is delicious, a huge
improvement on the gross reality, and I mean to adopt it in the future;
but is it like Uncle Tim?"
"No, it's not like him," Pitman admitted. "But his mind may have become
unhinged at Ballarat."
"If you come to that, Pitman," said Michael, "the advertiser _may_ be
Queen Victoria, fired with the desire to make a duke of you. I put it to
yourself if that's probable; and yet it's not against the laws of
nature. But we sit here to consider probabilities; and with your genteel
permission, I eliminate her Majesty and Uncle Tim on the threshold. To
proceed, we have your second idea, that this has some connection with
the statue. Possible; but in that case who is the advertiser? Not
Ricardi, for he knows your address; not the person who got the box, for
he doesn't know your name. The vanman, I hear you suggest, in a lucid
interval. He might have got your name, and got it incorrectly, at the
station; and he might have failed to get your address. I grant the
vanman. But a question: Do you really wish to meet the vanman?"
"Why should I not?" asked Pitman.
"If he wants to meet you," replied Michael, "observe this: it is because
he has found his address-book, has been to the house that got the
statue,
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