fore them heavily. He tried the
pen. It was an excellent pen, but what was he to write? "I have it,"
cried Morris. "Robinson Crusoe and the double columns!" He prepared his
paper after that classic model, and began as follows:--

_Bad._ _Good._

1. I have lost my uncle's body. 1. But then Pitman has found it.

"Stop a bit," said Morris. "I am letting the spirit of antithesis run
away with me. Let's start again."

_Bad._ _Good._

1. I have lost my uncle's body. 1. But then I no longer require
to bury it.

2. I have lost the tontine. 2. But I may still save that if
Pitman disposes of the
body, and if I can find a
physician who will stick at
nothing.

3. I have lost the leather 3. But not if Pitman gives the
business and the rest of body up to the police.
my uncle's succession.

"O, but in that case I go to gaol; I had forgot that," thought Morris.
"Indeed, I don't know that I had better dwell on that hypothesis at all;
it's all very well to talk of facing the worst; but in a case of this
kind a man's first duty is to his own nerve. Is there any answer to No.
3? Is there any possible good side to such a beastly bungle? There must
be, of course, or where would be the use of this double-entry business?
And--by George, I have it!" he exclaimed; "it's exactly the same as the
last!" And he hastily re-wrote the passage:

_Bad._ _Good._

3. I have lost the leather 3. But not if I can find a physician
business and the rest of who will stick at nothing.
my uncle's succession.

"This venal doctor seems quite a desideratum," he reflected. "I want him
first to give me a certificate that my uncle is dead, so that I may get
the leather business; and then that he's alive--but here we are again at
the incompatible interests!" And he returned to his tabulation:

_Bad._ _Good._

4. I have almost no money. 4. But there is plenty in the bank.

5. Yes, but I can't get the 5. But--well, that seems unhappily
money in the bank.