fter in the Bail Court enter, amidst profound silence
and with impressive dignity, Mr. Justice Stedfast. Let me here inform
the reader that if by any chance, say by settlement, postponement or
otherwise, the first case in the list "goes off," as it is called (from
its bearing a striking resemblance to the unexpected going off of a gun),
and the parties in the next case, taken by surprise, are not there at the
moment, that case goes off by being struck out; and very often the next
and the next, and so on to the end of the list. Parties therefore should
be ready, so as to prevent a waste of time. The time of the Court is not
to be wasted by parties not being ready. Now, strangely enough, this is
what happened in the case of _Bumpkin_ v. _Snooks_. Being number eight,
no one thought it would be reached; and the leading counsel, and also the
junior counsel being engaged elsewhere; and Mr. Prigg and Mr. Prigg's
clerk not having arrived; and Mr. Bumpkin not knowing his way; at five
minutes after the sitting of the Court, so expeditious are our legal
proceedings, the celebrated case was actually reached, and this is what
took place:

"Are the parties ready?" inquired his Lordship.

Mr. Ricochet, Q.C., who appeared with Mr. Weasel for the defendant, said
he was ready for the defendant.

"Call the plaintiff!" said a voice.

Loud cries for Bumpkin, who was just pushing his way down the passage
outside.

"Does anyone answer?" asked his lordship; "do you know if any gentleman
is instructed, Mr. Ricochet?"

"I am not aware, my lud."

"Stand up and be sworn, gentlemen," says the associate. Up stood the
jury; and in less than half a minute they found a verdict for the
defendant, counterclaim being abandoned, just as Mr. Bumpkin had pushed
into Court. And judgment is given.

The business having been thus got through, the Court rose and went away.
And then came in both counsel and Mr. Prigg and Horatio; and great
complaints were made of everybody except the Judge, who couldn't help it.

But our administration of justice is not so inelastic that it cannot
adapt itself to a set of circumstances such as these. It was only to
make a few more affidavits, and to appear before his lordship by counsel,
and state the facts in a calm and respectful manner, to obtain the
necessary rectification of the matter. All was explained and all
forgiven. _Bumpkin_ v. _Snooks_ was to be restored to the paper upon
payment of the costs of t