of constant satire, even more
contemptible in his eyes than a lord's chaplain, is a poor curate with a
large family. The idea of this luckless paternity never fails to bring
down from him gibes and foul language. Could Dick Steele, or Goldsmith, or
Fielding, in his most reckless moment of satire, have written anything
like the Dean's famous "modest proposal" for eating children? Not one of
these but melts at the thoughts of childhood, fondles and caresses it. Mr.
Dean has no such softness, and enters the nursery with the tread and
gaiety of an ogre.(46) "I have been assured," says he in the _Modest
Proposal_, "by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that
a young healthy child, well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious,
nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled;
and I make no doubt it will equally serve in a _ragout_." And taking up
this pretty joke, as his way is, he argues it with perfect gravity and
logic. He turns and twists this subject in a score of different ways: he
hashes it; and he serves it up cold; and he garnishes it; and relishes it
always. He describes the little animal as "dropped from its dam'" advising
that the mother should let it suck plentifully in the last month, so as to
render it plump and fat for a good table! "A child," says his reverence,
"will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family
dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish," and so
on; and, the subject being so delightful that he can't leave it--he
proceeds to recommend, in place of venison for squires' tables, "the
bodies of young lads and maidens not exceeding fourteen or under twelve."
Amiable humourist! laughing castigator of morals! There was a process well
known and practised in the Dean's gay days: when a lout entered the
coffee-house, the wags proceeded to what they called "roasting" him. This
is roasting a subject with a vengeance. The Dean had a native genius for
it. As the _Almanach des Gourmands_ says, _On nait rotisseur_.

And it was not merely by the sarcastic method that Swift exposed the
unreasonableness of loving and having children. In Gulliver, the folly of
love and marriage is urged by graver arguments and advice. In the famous
Lilliputian kingdom, Swift speaks with approval of the practice of
instantly removing children from their parents and educating them by the
State; and amongst his favourite horses, a pair of f