persons--I suppose they wou'd shoot at me, if I were within their reach.

CHAPLAIN. Undoubtedly, they would be more fond of you than of a wild
turkey; a parcel of ignorant, unmannerly rascals, they pay no more
respect to a Lord than they wou'd to a devil.

KIDNAPPER. The scoundrels are grown so damn'd impudent too, that one can
scarcely get a roasting pig now-a-days, but I'll be even with some of
'em by and by.

CHAPLAIN. I hope we shall get something good for our Christmas
dinner--so much abstinence and involuntary mortification, cannot be good
for the soul--a war in the body corporal is of more dangerous
consequence than a civil war to the state, or heresy and schism to the
church.

KIDNAPPER. Very true, parson--very true--now I like your doctrine--a
full belly is better than an empty sermon; preach that doctrine;--stick
to that text, and you'll not fail of making converts.

CHAPLAIN. The wisest of men said, there is nothing better, than that a
man should enjoy that which he hath, namely, eat, drink, and be merry,
if he can.

KIDNAPPER. You're very right--Solomon was no fool, they say--[_He
sings._]

_Give me a charming lass, Twangdillo cries,
I know no pleasure, but love's sweet joys._

CHAPLAIN. [_Sings._]

_Give me the bottle, says the red face sot,
For a whore I'd not give six-pence, not a groat._

Yet two is better than one, my Lord, for the scriptures further say, if
one be alone, how can there be heat? You seem to be converted to that
belief, for you have a brace of them, as the Boatswain says.

KIDNAPPER. Ha, ha. It's a pity but you were a bishop, you have the
scriptures so pat--now I'll go and take a short nap, meanwhile; Captain,
if any thing new happens, pray order my servant to wake me.

CAPTAIN SQUIRES. I will, my Lord.

[_Exit KIDNAPPER._

CHAPLAIN. And you and I'll crack a bottle, Captain; (bring a bottle,
boy!) 'tis bad enough to perish by famine, but ten thousand times worse
to be chok'd for want of moisture. His Lordship and two more make three;
and you and I and the bottle make three more, and a three-fold cord is
not easily broken; so we're even with him.

CAPTAIN SQUIRES. With all my heart.--Boy, bear a hand!

TOM. Coming, sir.

CHAPLAIN. Tom, Tom!--make haste, you scoundrel!--fetch two bottles. I
think we can manage it.

_Enter TOM with the bottles._

CHAPLAIN. That's right, Tom.--Now bring the glasses,