a!" roared Toby. "The 'orn of the 'unter! Blamed if I ever
hear the like of that before! My stars! What's the matter, Mr. Punch,
can't you put in a little 'h' now and then? The 'orn of the 'unter! Oh
my stars! Ha! ha! ha! ha!"

Mr. Punch was deeply offended. "Hit is quite sufficient," said he. "Hi
shall sing no more." And nothing that anybody could say could induce him
to go on.

"Toby Littleback," said Aunt Amanda, "it's just like you, all over. Now
you ask Mr. Punch's pardon, right this minute."

Toby apologized, and Mr. Punch said that it was of no consequence
whatever; but he would not sing.

"Then I guess you'll have to sing for us yourself, Mizzen," said Toby.

"Right-o," said Mr. Mizzen, thrumming on his guitar. "What'll it be?"

The Cabin-boy sniffed and spoke in an undertone close to Freddie's ear.

"He'll be s-s-singing on the other s-s-side of his f-f-face before this
night's o-o-over, you mark m-m-m-my wo-wo-words!"

"Lady and gentlemen"--began Mr. Mizzen.

"Ker-choo!" sneezed the parrot. "A wet sh-sh-sheet and a f-f-flowing
s-s-s-sea! Three cheers f-f-for the--Ker-choo! Three cheers f-f-for hay
f-f-fe-fever!"

"Down with b-b-b-both of 'em!" whispered the Cabin-boy fiercely in
Freddie's ear.

"Suppose you sing us something about yourself," said Aunt Amanda.

"Ay, ay, ma'am," said Mr. Mizzen; and after playing a few chords and
quivers on the guitar, he began to sing, in a voice like a fog-horn
muffled by a heavy fog, the following song concerning the

LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF L. MIZZEN

"When I was a lad I was bad as I could be,
Wouldn't say 'Thank you' nor 'Please,' not me,
And at church I wouldn't kneel but only on one knee,
And at school I wouldn't study my A B C,
And I couldn't conscientious with the Golden Rule agree,
Nor understand the secret of its popularitee,
Nor get a ounce of pleasure from the Rule of Three,--
I was bad right through; sweared 'hully gee,'
And worse sometimes, like 'jiminee;'
Scrawled with a pencil on my jographee,
Stole birds' eggs in the huckleberry tree,--
Oh, I was bad; tried to learn a flea
How to keep his balance on a rolling pea,--
Oh, regular bad; and my ma, said she,
'If you don't be better than what you be,
I'll put you in the cupboard and turn the key.'
But I wouldn't and I wouldn't, no sirree,

So I ran away to sea;
Yes, I ran away to sea;

With a little