s, a war had broken out.

And supposing that our Army had been defeated on account of those worthless
bayonets.

And supposing our sailors had been slaughtered by hundreds on account of
those useless cutlasses.

And supposing the country had been successfully invaded because the nation
had improper arms of defence.

And supposing, wild with ruin, revenge, and misery, the remains of the Army
and Navy had met Sir JOHN ADYE.

Supposing they had. Well, what then?

* * * * *

PRIZE PARLIAMENTARY PUZZLE.--"The End of the Session."

* * * * *

[Illustration: "GLASS FALLING!"

"HM!--GOING BACK! AH!--ONLY A _LOCAL DEPRESSION_!!"]

* * * * *

A SOOTHING SONG FOR AUGUST.

[Illustration: Taking a Pull on the Watery Main.]

Far from placid pleasure
Fashion's nomads roam;
Wisdom finds the treasure
In its fullest measure
Peacefully at home.

Free from by-the-way bores
Of hotel and train,
Rest we from our labours,
With our fair young neighbours
Round us once again.

Bees in drowsy fettle
Lazy lilies rob;
Slumbrously they settle,
Thrumming like a kettle
On the Summer's hob.

Flies their mystic mazes
Intricately thread,
Where the sunshine blazes
Through the cedarn hazes,
Just above my head.

Pussy, with her fur feet
Curled beneath her breast,
Drowzes where the turf-heat
Soothes her with a surfeit
Of delicious rest.

Now a laughing quarrel
Stirs the stilly air,
Where, beyond the laurel,
With their white apparel
Glistening in the glare,

Boys and girls together
Make a gallant crew,
Boys in highest feather,
Girls like summer weather,
Bright and sweet and true.

* * * * *

OUR EXCHANGE AND MART.

SOME MORE HOLIDAY INQUIRIES.

NOVEL YACHTING EXPEDITION. UNIQUE CHANCE.--A Gentleman of marked nautical
proclivities, who has lately, through the demise of a great-uncle, come
into the possession of a Penny Steamer in a very fair condition of repair,
is anxious to meet with one or two persons of similar tastes who would be
disposed to start with him on a Summer Tour, for the purpose of leisurely
navigating the vessel, in a tentative fashion, round the British Isles. As
he would not take a Pilot with him, but proposes when in doubt either to
ask his way from the nearest Coastguard by