rception, disgusted
even with knowledge itself--for thought does not outlive the transitory
fact that gives rise to it; and the spirit, like the rest, is but an
illusion.
"Everything that is born will perish; everything that is dead will come
to life again. The beings that have actually disappeared will sojourn in
wombs not yet formed, and will come back to earth to serve with sorrow
other creatures. But, as I have resolved through an infinite number of
existences, under the guise of gods, men, and animals, I give up
travelling, and no longer wish for this fatigue. I abandon the dirty inn
of my body, walled in with flesh, reddened with blood, covered with
hideous skin, full of uncleanness; and, for my reward, I shall, finally,
sleep in the very depths of the absolute, in annihilation."
The flames rise to his breast, then envelop him. His head stretches
across as if through the hole of a wall. His eyes are perpetually fixed
in a vacant stare.
Antony gets up again. The torch on the ground has set fire to the
splinters of wood, and the flames have singed his beard. Bursting into
an exclamation, Antony tramples on the fire; and, when only a heap of
cinders is left:
"Where, then, is Hilarion? He was here just now. I saw him! Ah! no; it
is impossible! I am mistaken! How is this? My cell, those stones, the
sand, have not, perhaps, any more reality. I must be going mad. Stay!
where was I? What was happening here?
"Ah! the gymnosophist! This death is common amongst the Indian sages.
Kalanos burned himself before Alexander; another did the same in the
time of Augustus. What hatred of life they must have had!--unless,
indeed, pride drove them to it. No matter, it is the intrepidity of
martyrs! As to the others, I now believe all that has been told me of
the excesses they have occasioned.
"And before this? Yes, I recollect! the crowd of heresiarchs ... What
shrieks! what eyes! But why so many outbreaks of the flesh and
wanderings of the spirit?
"It is towards God they pretend to direct their thoughts in all these
different ways. What right have I to curse them, I who stumble in my own
path? When they have disappeared, I shall, perhaps, learn more. This one
rushed away too quickly; I had not time to reply to him. Just now it is
as if I had in my intellect more space and more light. I am tranquil. I
feel myself capable ... But what is this now? I thought I had
extinguished the fire."
A flame flutters between the ro
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