or read to
him some of my own writings and been rewarded in return with praise
unsparing.

My fourth brother Jyotirindra was one of the chief helpers in my
literary and emotional training. He was an enthusiast himself and loved
to evoke enthusiasm in others. He did not allow the difference between
our ages to be any bar to my free intellectual and sentimental
intercourse with him. This great boon of freedom which he allowed me,
none else would have dared to do; many even blamed him for it. His
companionship made it possible for me to shake off my shrinking
sensitiveness. It was as necessary for my soul after its rigorous
repression during my infancy as are the monsoon clouds after a fiery
summer.

But for such snapping of my shackles I might have become crippled for
life. Those in authority are never tired of holding forth the
possibility of the abuse of freedom as a reason for withholding it, but
without that possibility freedom would not be really free. And the only
way of learning how to use properly a thing is through its misuse. For
myself, at least, I can truly say that what little mischief resulted
from my freedom always led the way to the means of curing mischief. I
have never been able to make my own anything which they tried to compel
me to swallow by getting hold of me, physically or mentally, by the
ears. Nothing but sorrow have I ever gained except when left freely to
myself.

My brother Jyotirindra unreservedly let me go my own way to
self-knowledge, and only since then could my nature prepare to put
forth its thorns, it may be, but likewise its flowers. This experience
of mine has led me to dread, not so much evil itself, as tyrannical
attempts to create goodness. Of punitive police, political or moral, I
have a wholesome horror. The state of slavery which is thus brought on
is the worst form of cancer to which humanity is subject.

My brother at one time would spend days at his piano engrossed in the
creation of new tunes. Showers of melody would stream from under his
dancing fingers, while Akshay Babu and I, seated on either side, would
be busy fitting words to the tunes as they grew into shape to help to
hold them in our memories.[34] This is how I served my apprenticeship in
the composition of songs.

While we were growing to boyhood music was largely cultivated in our
family. This had the advantage of making it possible for me to imbibe
it, without an effort, into my whole being. It had also