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high dudgeon. The existence of these varied contradictorinesses seems to
him a personal affront.

It is as if a person had lived in a natural history museum, where every
stuffed animal knew his place, and had his scientific name painted on
the glass case. He is suddenly dropped into a tropical jungle where the
animals act quite differently. The tigers won't "stay put," and are
liable to turn up just when he doesn't want to see them.

I should not object to his unpreparedness for the actual state of things
if the Doctrinaire did not assume the airs of a superior person. He lays
all the blame for the discrepancy between himself and the universe on
the universe. He has the right key, only the miserable locks won't fit
it. Having formed a very clear conception of the best possible world, he
looks down patronizingly upon the commonplace people who are trying to
make the best out of this imperfect world. Having large possessions in
Utopia, he lives the care-free life of an absentee landlord. His praise
is always for the dead, or for the yet unborn; when he looks on his
contemporaries he takes a gloomy view. That any great man should be now
alive, he considers a preposterous assumption. He treats greatness as if
it were a disease to be determined only by post-mortem examination.

One of the earliest satires on the character of the Doctrinaire is to be
found in the Book of Jonah. Jonah was a prophet by profession. He
received a call to preach in the city of Nineveh, which he accepted
after some hesitation. He denounced civic corruption and declared that
in forty days the city would be destroyed. Having performed this
professional duty, Jonah felt that there was nothing left for him but to
await with pious resignation the fulfillment of his prophecy. But in
this case the unexpected happened, the city repented and was saved. This
was gall and wormwood to Jonah. His orderly mind was offended by the
disarrangement of his schedule. What was the use of being a prophet if
things did not turn out as he said? So we are told "it displeased Jonah
exceedingly, and he was angry," Still he clung to the hope that, in the
end, things might turn out badly enough to justify his public
utterances. "Then Jonah went out of the city, and sat on the east side
of the city, and there made him a booth, and sat under it in the
shadow, till he might see what would become of the city."

Poor grumpy old Jonah! Have we not sat under his preaching, and r