idge, you would see nothing in the Peripatetic Philosopher
but a reprehensible lack of agility.

At the railway terminus there is an office which bears the inscription,
"Lost Articles." In the midst of the busy traffic it stands as a
perpetual denial of the utilitarian theory that all men are governed by
enlightened self-interest. A very considerable proportion of the
traveling public can be trusted regularly to forget its portable
property.

The gentleman who presides over the lost articles has had long
experience as an alienist. He is skeptical as to the reality of what is
called mind. So far as his clients are concerned, it is notable for its
absence. To be confronted day after day by the absent-minded, and to
listen to their monotonous tale of woe, is disenchanting. It is
difficult to observe all the amenities of life when one is dealing with
the defective and delinquent classes.

When first I inquired at the Lost Article window, I was received as a
man and brother. There was even an attempt to show the respect due to
one who may have seen better days. I had the feeling that both myself
and my lost article were receiving individual attention. I left without
any sense of humiliation. But the third time I appeared I was conscious
of a change in the atmosphere. A single glance at the Restorer of Lost
Articles showed me that I was no longer in his eyes a citizen who was in
temporary misfortune. I was classified. He recognized me as a rounder.
"There he is again," he said to himself. "Last time it was at Rockingham
Junction, this time it is probably on the Saugus Branch; but it is the
same old story, and the same old umbrella."

What hurt my feelings was that nothing I could say would do any good. It
would not help matters to explain that losing articles was not my steady
occupation, and that I had other interests in life. He would only
wearily note the fact as another indication of my condition. "That's the
way they all talk. These defectives can never be made to see their
conduct in its true light. They always explain their misfortunes by
pretending that their thoughts were on higher things."

The Doctrinaire when he gets hold of a good thing never lets up on it.
His favorite idea is produced on all occasions. It may be excellent in
its way, but he sings its praises till we turn against it as we used to
do in the Fourth Reader Class, when we all with one accord turned
against "Teacher's Pet." Teacher's Pet might b