oborated the diagnosis. An attendant physician and
trained nurse were provided at once. Soon after my mother broke down
and my brother in Pittsburgh also was reported ill.

I was despaired of, I was so low, and then my whole nature seemed to
change. I became reconciled, indulged in pleasing meditations, was
without the slightest pain. My mother's and brother's serious
condition had not been revealed to me, and when I was informed that
both had left me forever it seemed only natural that I should follow
them. We had never been separated; why should we be now? But it was
decreed otherwise.

I recovered slowly and the future began to occupy my thoughts. There
was only one ray of hope and comfort in it. Toward that my thoughts
always turned. For several years I had known Miss Louise Whitfield.
Her mother permitted her to ride with me in the Central Park. We were
both very fond of riding. Other young ladies were on my list. I had
fine horses and often rode in the Park and around New York with one or
the other of the circle. In the end the others all faded into ordinary
beings. Miss Whitfield remained alone as the perfect one beyond any I
had met. Finally I began to find and admit to myself that she stood
the supreme test I had applied to several fair ones in my time. She
alone did so of all I had ever known. I could recommend young men to
apply this test before offering themselves. If they can honestly
believe the following lines, as I did, then all is well:

"Full many a lady
I've eyed with best regard: for several virtues
Have I liked several women, never any
With so full soul, but some defect in her
Did quarrel with the noblest grace she owed,
And put it to the foil; but you, O you,
So perfect and so peerless are created
Of every creature's best."[38]

[Footnote 38: Ferdinand to Miranda in _The Tempest_.]

In my soul I could echo those very words. To-day, after twenty years
of life with her, if I could find stronger words I could truthfully
use them.

My advances met with indifferent success. She was not without other
and younger admirers. My wealth and future plans were against me. I
was rich and had everything and she felt she could be of little use or
benefit to me. Her ideal was to be the real helpmeet of a young,
struggling man to whom she could and would be indispensable, as her
mother had been to her father. The care of her own family had largely
fallen upon her after her f