or three millions of
men, women, and children, was entombed with all the pageantry of
public lamentation, and figured as the hero of several thousand odes
and a round dozen of epics; while the poor highwayman was twice
executed--

'At the gallows first, and after in a ballad,
Sung to a villainous tune.'

"You observe, in both these skulls, the combined development of the
organs of carnage, plunder, and vanity, which I have separately
pointed out in the tiger, the fox, and the peacock. The greater
enlargement of the organ of vanity in the hero is the only criterion
by which I can distinguish them from each other. Born with the same
faculties, and the same propensities, these two men were formed by
nature to run the same career: the different combinations of external
circumstances decided the differences of their destinies.

"Here is the skull of a Newfoundland dog. You observe the organ of
benevolence, and that of attachment. Here is a human skull, in which
you may observe a very striking negation of both these organs; and an
equally striking development of those of destruction, cunning,
avarice, and self-love. This was one of the most illustrious statesmen
that ever flourished in the page of history.

"Here is the skull of a turnspit, which, after a wretched life of
_dirty work_, was turned out of doors to die on a dunghill. I have
been induced to preserve it, in consequence of its remarkable
similarity to this, which belonged to a courtly poet, who having grown
grey in flattering the great, was cast off in the same manner to
perish by the same catastrophe."

_After these, and several other illustrations, during which the skulls
were handed round for the inspection of the company, Mr Cranium
proceeded thus:--_

"It is obvious, from what I have said, that no man can hope for
worldly honour or advancement, who is not placed in such a relation to
external circumstances as may be consentaneous to his peculiar
cerebral organs; and I would advise every parent, who has the welfare
of his son at heart, to procure as extensive a collection as possible
of the skulls of animals, and, before determining on the choice of a
profession, to compare with the utmost nicety their bumps and
protuberances with those of the skull of his son. If the development
of the organ of destruction point out a similarity between the youth
and the tiger, let him be brought to some profession (whether that of
a butcher, a soldier, or a