uld have to
open the most illustrious of all possible balls with the lovely
Caprioletta Headlong, the only sister of Harry Headlong, Esquire, of
Headlong Hall, in the Vale of Llanberris, the only surviving male
representative of the antediluvian family of Headlong Ap-Rhaiader.

When the first two dances were ended, Mr Escot, who did not choose to
dance with any one but his adorable Cephalis, looking round for a
convenient seat, discovered Mr Jenkison in a corner by the side of the
Reverend Doctor Gaster, who was keeping excellent time with his nose
to the lively melody of the harp and fiddle. Mr Escot seated himself
by the side of Mr Jenkison, and inquired if he took no part in the
amusement of the night?

_Mr Jenkison._
No. The universal cheerfulness of the company induces me to rise; the
trouble of such violent exercise induces me to sit still. Did I see a
young lady in want of a partner, gallantry would incite me to offer
myself as her devoted knight for half an hour: but, as I perceive
there are enough without me, that motive is null. I have been weighing
these points _pro_ and _con_, and remain _in statu quo_.

_Mr Escot._
I have danced, contrary to my system, as I have done many other things
since I have been here, from a motive that you will easily guess. (_Mr
Jenkison smiled._) I have great objections to dancing. The wild and
original man is a calm and contemplative animal. The stings of natural
appetite alone rouse him to action. He satisfies his hunger with roots
and fruits, unvitiated by the malignant adhibition of fire, and all
its diabolical processes of elixion and assation; he slakes his thirst
in the mountain-stream, _summisgetai tae epituchousae_, and returns to
his peaceful state of meditative repose.

_Mr Jenkison._
Like the metaphysical statue of Condillac.

_Mr Escot._
With all its senses and purely natural faculties developed, certainly.
Imagine this tranquil and passionless being, occupied in his first
meditation on the simple question of _Where am I? Whence do I come?
And what is the end of my existence?_ Then suddenly place before him a
chandelier, a fiddler, and a magnificent beau in silk stockings and
pumps, bounding, skipping, swinging, capering, and throwing himself
into ten thousand attitudes, till his face glows with fever, and
distils with perspiration: the first impulse excited in his mind by
such an apparition will be that of violent fear, which, by the
reiterat