If,
therefore, my past conduct has been repugnant to her notions of
propriety, why does she not act consistently, and refuse at once to
associate with a man whose character she cannot esteem? But no; that,
Charles, is no part of the female plan; our entrapping a few of their
sex only discovers the gayety of our dispositions, the insinuating
graces of our manners, and the irresistible charms of our persons and
address. These qualifications are very alluring to the sprightly fancy
of the fair. They think to enjoy the pleasures which result from this
source, while their vanity and ignorance prompt each one to imagine
herself superior to delusion, and to anticipate the honor of reclaiming
the libertine and reforming the rake. I don't know, however, but this
girl will really have that merit with me; for I am so much attached to
her that I begin to suspect I should sooner become a convert to sobriety
than lose her. I cannot find that I have made much impression on her
heart as yet. Want of success in this point mortifies me extremely, as
it is the first time I ever failed. Besides, I am apprehensive that she
is prepossessed in favor of the other swain, the clerical lover, whom I
have mentioned to you before. The chord, therefore, upon which I play
the most, is the dissimilarity of their dispositions and pleasures. I
endeavor to detach her from him, and disaffect her towards him; knowing
that, if I can separate them entirely, I shall be more likely to succeed
in my plan. Not that I have any thoughts of marrying her myself; that
will not do at present. But I love her too well to see her connected
with another for life. I must own myself a little revengeful, too, in
this affair. I wish to punish her friends, as she calls them, for their
malice towards me, for their cold and negligent treatment of me whenever
I go to the house. I know that to frustrate their designs of a
connection between Mr. Boyer and Eliza would be a grievous
disappointment. I have not yet determined to seduce her, though, with
all her pretensions to virtue, I do not think it impossible. And if I
should, she can blame none but herself, since she knows my character,
and has no reason to wonder if I act consistently with it. If she will
play with a lion, let her beware of his paw, I say. At present, I wish
innocently to enjoy her society; it is a luxury which I never tasted
before. She is the very soul of pleasure. The gayest circle is
irradiated by her presence