elf, as I had been absent from my people a
considerable time, and my return was now expected. But their importunity
was so great, and Eliza's declaration that it would be very agreeable to
her so tempting, that I consented. Here I took lodgings, and spent about
a week, taking every opportunity to converse with Eliza, striving to
discover her real disposition towards me. I mentioned the inconvenience
of visiting her so often as I wished, and suggested my desire to enter,
as soon as might be, into a family relation. I painted, in the most
alluring colors, the pleasures resulting from domestic tranquillity,
mutual confidence, and conjugal affection, and insisted on her declaring
frankly whether she designed to share this happiness with me, and when
it should commence. She owned that she intended to give me her hand,
but when she should be ready she could not yet determine. She pretended
a promise from me to wait her time, to consent that she should share the
pleasures of the fashionable world as long as she chose, &c.
I then attempted to convince her of her mistaken ideas of pleasure; that
the scenes of dissipation, of which she was so passionately fond,
afforded no true enjoyment; that the adulation of the coxcomb could not
give durability to her charms, or secure the approbation of the wise and
good; nor could the fashionable amusements of brilliant assemblies and
crowded theatres furnish the mind with
"That which nothing earthly gives or can destroy--
The soul's calm sunshine and the heartfelt joy."
These friendly suggestions, I found, were considered as the theme of a
priest, and my desire to detach her from such empty pursuits as the
selfishness of a lover. She was even offended at my freedom, and warmly
affirmed that no one had a right to arraign her conduct. I mentioned
Major Sanford, who was then in town, and who (though she went to places
of public resort with Mr. and Mrs. Sumner) always met and gallanted her
home. She rallied me upon my jealousy, as she termed it, wished that I
would attend her myself, and then she should need no other gallant. I
answered that I had rather resign that honor to another, but wished, for
her sake, that he might be a gentleman whose character would not
disgrace the company with which he associated. She appeared mortified
and chagrined in the extreme. However, she studiously suppressed her
emotions, and even soothed me with the blandishments of female softness.
We parted amic
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