lawyer never makes
any man's will but his own; and as the priest of old among us got near
the dying man, and gave all to the Church, so now the lawyer gives all
to the law.

"CLERK. Ay, sir, but priests then cheated the nation by doing their
offices in an unknown language.

"PUZZLE. True, but ours is a way much surer; for we cheat in no
language at all, but loll in our own coaches, eloquent in gibberish,
and learned in jingle. Pull out the parchment [_referring to the will
of_ LORD BRUMPTON], there's the deed; I made it as long as I could.
Well, I hope to see the day when the indenture shall be the exact
measure of the land that passes by it; for 'tis a discouragement to
the gown, that every ignorant rogue of an heir should in a word or
two understand his father's meaning, and hold ten acres of land by
half-an-acre of parchment. Nay, I hope to see the time when that there
is indeed some progress made in, shall be wholly affected; and by the
improvement of the noble art of tautology, every Inn in Holborn an Inn
of Court. Let others think of logic, rhetoric, and I know not what
impertinence, but mind thou tautology. What's the first excellence in
a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third?
Tautology; as an old pleader said of action."

* * * * *

Who shall say that the tautological sentiments of Mr. Puzzle are not
still inculcated? Nay, the whole play furnishes a capital instance of
the truism that the world changes but little, and, furthermore, that
the mould of nigh two centuries cannot spoil the wit of sparkling
Steele. Ah, Dick! Dick! you may have been a sorry dog, with your
toasts and your taverns, yet 'tis a thousand pities that a few
dramatists of to-day cannot drink inspiration from the same cups.

To continue our cheerful journey with this unusual "Funeral," we soon
find ourselves introduced to Lord Hardy, the unjustly discarded son of
Brumpton. Hardy is a high-spirited, honest man of quality, a trifle
out at elbows just now, owing to the stoppage of financial supplies
from the paternal mansion. His straits are oft severe, and it is
fortunate that he has in Trim a faithful servant who knows so well how
to keep the duns at bay. "Why, friend, says I [Trim is describing to
Hardy his method of dealing with his lordship's creditors], how often
must I tell you my lord is not stirring. His lordship has not slept
well, you must come some other time; your lord