te gallants,
And into cows metamorphose 'em."

[5] Apollo Smintheus. He destroyed a great many rats in Phrygia,
and was probably the first "rat-catcher to the King."--_Vet.
Schol_.

[6] "Mystica vannus Isacchi." This was either a porter-brewer's
dray, or more probably the _Van_ of his druggist.--_Scriblerus_.

[7] There is some difference of opinion concerning this fact:
the lady, like so many others in her interesting situation,
passed through the adventure under an _alias_. But that Ceres
and Terra were the same, no reasonable person will doubt: and
there can be no _serious_ objection to the little _trip_ being
thus ascribed to the goddess in question.--_Scriblerus_.

* * * * *

"THE SEASON" IN TOWN.

_Theodore_.--I don't know how you could prevent people from living half
the year in town.

_Tickler_.--I have no objection to their living half the year in town,
as you call it, if they can live in such a hell upon earth, of dust,
noise, and misery. Only think of the Dolphin water in the solar
microscope!

_Theodore_.--I know nothing of the water of London personally.

_Odoherty_.--Nor I; but I take it, we both have a notion of its brandy
and water.

_Tickler_.--'Tis, in fact, their duty to be a good deal in London. But
I'll tell you what I do object to, and what I rather think are evils of
modern date, or at any rate, of very rapid recent growth. First, I
object to their living those months of the year in which it is _contra
bonos mores_ to be in London, not in their paternal mansions, but at
those little bastardly abortions, which they call watering-places--their
Leamingtons, their Cheltenhams, their Brighthelmstones.

_Theodore_.--Brighton, my dear rustic Brighton!

_Odoherty_.--Synopice.

_Shepherd_.--What's your wull, Sir Morgan? It does no staun' wi' me.

_Theodore_.--A horrid spot, certainly--but possessing large
conveniences, sir, for particular purposes. For example, sir, the
balcony on the drawing-room floor commonly runs on the same level all
round the square--which in the Brighthelmstonic dialect, sir, means a
three-sided figure. The advantage is obvious,

_Shepherd_.--Och, sirs! och, sirs! what wull this world come to!

_Theodore_.--The truth is, sir, that people _comme il faut_ cannot well
submit to the total change of society and manners implied in a removal
from Whitehall or Mayfair to some absurd o