ad ever been seen in the district.
Mr. Purnip's foot-work was excellent, and the way he timed his blows made
Mr. Billing's eyes moist with admiration.

It was over at last. The aggressor went limping off, and Mr. Purnip,
wiping his bald head, picked up his battered and dusty hat from the
roadway and brushed it on his sleeve. He turned with a start and a blush
to meet the delighted gaze of Mr. Billing.

"I'm ashamed of myself," he murmured, brokenly--"ashamed."

"Ashamed!" exclaimed the amazed Mr. Billing. "Why, a pro couldn't ha'
done better."

"Such an awful example," moaned the other. "All my good work here thrown
away."

"Don't you believe it, sir," said Mr. Billing, earnestly. "As soon as
this gets about you'll get more members than you want a'most. I'm coming
back, for one."

Mr. Purnip turned and grasped his hand.

"I understand things now," said Mr. Billing, nodding sagely. "Turning
the other cheek's all right so long as you don't do it always. If you
don't let 'em know whether you are going to turn the other cheek or knock
their blessed heads off, it's all right. 'Arf the trouble in the world
is caused by letting people know too much."

HUSBANDRY

Dealing with a man, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully, is as easy as
a teetotaller walking along a nice wide pavement; dealing with a woman is
like the same teetotaller, arter four or five whiskies, trying to get up
a step that ain't there. If a man can't get 'is own way he eases 'is
mind with a little nasty language, and then forgets all about it; if a
woman can't get 'er own way she flies into a temper and reminds you of
something you oughtn't to ha' done ten years ago. Wot a woman would do
whose 'usband had never done anything wrong I can't think.

I remember a young feller telling me about a row he 'ad with 'is wife
once. He 'adn't been married long and he talked as if the way she
carried on was unusual. Fust of all, he said, she spoke to 'im in a
cooing sort o' voice and pulled his moustache, then when he wouldn't give
way she worked herself up into a temper and said things about 'is sister.
Arter which she went out o' the room and banged the door so hard it blew
down a vase off the fireplace. Four times she came back to tell 'im
other things she 'ad thought of, and then she got so upset she 'ad to go
up to bed and lay down instead of getting his tea. When that didn't do
no good she refused her food, and when 'e took her up toa