in your place to-night?"

"He smashed one o' my best glasses," ses the landlord.

"So he did," ses the policeman. "So he did. I'd forgot that. Do you
know 'im well?"

"Not more than I can 'elp," ses the landlord. "He's been in my place a
good bit, but I never knew of any reason why 'e should try and do away
with 'imself. If he's been disappointed in love, he ain't told me
anything about it."

I suppose that couple o' fools 'ud 'ave stood there talking about me all
night if I'd ha' let 'em, but I had about enough of it.

"Look 'ere," I ses, "you're very clever, both of you, but you needn't
worry your 'eads about me. I've just been having a mud-bath, that's
all."

"A mud-bath!" ses both of 'em, squeaking like a couple o' silly parrots.

"For rheumatics," I ses. "I 'ad it some-thing cruel to-night, and I
thought that p'r'aps the mud 'ud do it good. I read about it in the
papers. There's places where you pay pounds and pounds for 'em, but,
being a pore man, I 'ad to 'ave mine on the cheap."

The policeman stood there looking at me for a moment, and then 'e began
to laugh till he couldn't stop 'imself.

"Love-a-duck!" he ses, at last, wiping his eyes. "I wish I'd seen it."

"Must ha' looked like a fat mermaid," ses the landlord, wagging his silly
'ead at me. "I can just see old Bill sitting in the mud a-combing his
'air and singing."

They 'ad some more talk o' that sort, just to show each other 'ow funny
they was, but they went off at last, and I fastened up the gate and went
into the office to clean myself up as well as I could. One comfort was
they 'adn't got the least idea of wot I was arter, and I 'ad a fancy that
the one as laughed last would be the one as got that twelve quid.

I was so tired that I slept nearly all day arter I 'ad got 'ome, and I
'ad no sooner got back to the wharf in the evening than I see that the
landlord 'ad been busy. If there was one silly fool that asked me the
best way of making mud-pies, I should think there was fifty. Little
things please little minds, and the silly way some of 'em went on made me
feel sorry for my sects.

By eight o'clock, 'owever, they 'ad all sheered off, and I got a broom
and began to sweep up to 'elp pass the time away until low-water. On'y
one craft 'ad come up that day--a ketch called the Peewit--and as she was
berthed at the end of the jetty she wasn't in my way at all.

Her skipper came on to the wharf just afore ten. Fat, silly old