39 degrees 25 minutes, I had again to choose between the chance of
success or disaster, as on the first occasion; if I went on and should
happen to find water, all for the time would be well, if not, destruction
would have been inevitable. I was now nearly 50 miles from water, and
feared that, as it was, some of my horses would fall before I could get
back to it, yet I lingered undecided on the hill, reluctant to make up my
mind, for I felt that if I thus again retired, it would be a virtual
abandonment of the task undertaken. I should be doing an injustice to Mr.
Stuart and to my men if I did not here mention that I told them the
position we were placed in, and the chance on which our safety would
depend if we went on. They might well have been excused if they had
expressed an opinion contrary to such a course, but the only reply they
made was to assure me that they were ready and willing to follow me to
the last. After this, I believe I sat on the hill for more than half an
hour with the telescope in my hand, but there was nothing to encourage me
onwards; our situation, however, admitted not of delay. I might, it is
true, have gone on and perished with all my men; but I saw neither the
credit nor the utility of such a measure. I trust the reader will believe
that I would not have shrunk from any danger that perseverance or
physical strength could have overcome; that indeed I did not shrink from
the slow fate, which, as far as I could judge, would inevitably have
awaited me if I had gone on; but that in the exercise of sound discretion
I decided on falling back. The feeling which would have led me onwards
was similar to that of a man who is sensible of having committed an
error, yet is ashamed to make an apology, and who would rather run the
risk of being shot, than of having the charge of pusillanimity fixed upon
him; but I have never regretted the step I took, and it has been no small
gratification to me to find that the Noble President of the Royal
Geographical Society, Lord Colchester, when addressing the members of
that enlightened body, in its name presenting medals to Dr. Leichhardt
and myself, for our labours in the cause of Geography, alluded to and
approved "the prudence with which further advance was abandoned, when it
could only have risked the loss of those entrusted to my charge."

We slowly retraced our steps to the valley in which we had slept, and I
stopped there for half an hour, but none of the horses