the thing were perfect,
if judges were not, like doctors, given to differ--and thus,
occasionally, disseminate somewhat opposite notions of the statutes of
the land.

Such being the case, it will not be deemed impertinent of one, who
desires to conform in all respects to the law, to ask, from time to
time, of our rulers and governors, certain questions, the answers to
which, should he happily receive them, will be regarded by him as
though written on tables of brass.

Now, in a late session of parliament, some humane member brought in a
bill to interdict the sweeping of chimneys by all persons small enough
for the purpose, and ingeniously suggested supplying their place by
others, whose size would have inevitably condemned them to perish in a
flue. Never had philanthropist a greater share of popularity. Little
sweeps sang his praises along the streets--penny periodicals had
verses in his honour--the "song of the soot" was set to music--and
people, in the frenzy of their enthusiasm, so far forgot their
chimneys, that scarcely a street in town had not, at least, one fire
every night in the week. Meanwhile, the tender sweeplings had lost
their occupation, they had pronounced their farewell to the
brush--what was to become of them? Alas, the legislature had not
thought of that point; for, they were not influential enough to claim
compensation. I grieve to think, but there is too much reason to fear,
that many of them betook themselves to the ancient vocation of
pickpockets. Yes, as Dr. Watts has it--

"Satan finds some mischief still
For idle hands to do."

The divisional police-offices were filled each morning with small
"suttees"--whose researches after handkerchiefs and snuff-boxes were
of the most active kind; while their full-grown brethren, first
impacted in a funnel of ten inches by eight, were cursing the Commons,
and consigning to all manner of misfortune the benevolent framer of
the bill.

Now, I cannot help asking myself, was this the intention of the
legislature--did they really mean that big people should try to
penetrate where little ones were not small enough to pass?--or was it
some piece of conciliation to the climbing boys, that they should see
their masters grilled and wasted, in revenge for "the disabilities
they had so long laboured under?" This point of great difficulty--and
after much thought and deliberation, I have come to one solution of
the whole question, and I only hope it may pr