thus by night cross themselves therewith." And when he had
spoken these words, he vanished away. Carry some holy thoughts to bed
with thee, and say thy prayers, till sleep fall on thee. To have soft
sleep and sweet, a sovereign help is measure and soberness in meat and
drink: with recollection of GOD'S law and Holy Writ; as GOD says through
the prophet, "Keep My law and My counsel, and if thou sleepest thou
shalt not be afraid; if thou dost rest thy sleep shall be sweet." And
ever, as thou wakenest, lift thine heart to GOD, with some holy thought,
and rise and pray to thy Lord that He grant release from pains to the
dead, and grace to the living, and life without end. If temptation of
lust stir thee in bed, think that thy good Lord hung on the Rood for
thee; think on His five wounds that streamed down of blood: think that
His bed was the hard knotty tree, and instead of a pillow He had a crown
of thorns. And say then, with sore sighing, till thy desire cool, "My
dear-worthy Lord hanged on the Rood for me; and I lie in this soft bed,
and welter me in sin, like a foul swine that loves but filth." Rise
then quickly, and hold thee with prayers, love-sighings and tears. Of
three points beware. The first, that the devotions thou hast through
grace stirring, be not known of others: hide them, so far as thou mayest
with will and deed for fear of vain glory. The second, that thou
thinkest not it is in thy power to have such devotions and stirrings
when thou wilt: but only through GOD'S grace when He will send them. The
third, that thou thinkest not over-well of thyself for such stirrings;
nor thinkest thou art therefore dear to GOD; nor deem another more
unworthy who does not as thou dost; but when thou hast done all well,
think soothly by thyself, and grant it in words; "It is nothing worth I
do, Lord: for I am but a useless thrall." If thou wilt lose no reward,
deem none other, but hold thyself most unworthy; for if thou fastest or
prayest more than another, perchance another surpasses thee in
meekness, and patience and loving. Therefore think of what thou lackest,
and not only of what thou hast. Nevertheless, GOD wills that thou
should'st think on those graces and goods He has done for thee, to stir
thee up to know thyself indebted to Him for them, and serve Him and love
Him the more; or if thou beest in grief to glad thee with. Sometimes, it
falls out that in GOD'S doom, one is better whom men deem evil than some
that men dee