"Here's the ticket; Mrs Allwood,
at home, nine o'clock."

"Mrs Allwood, my dear Valerie, is a literary lady, and her parties are
very agreeable."

The page looked at me from behind Lady R--'s chair, and shook his head
in dissent.

"Shall we go?" continued Lady R--.

"If you please, madame," replied I.

"Well, then, we will take a drive before dinner, and the evening after
dinner shall be dedicated to the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
Dear me, how I have inked my fingers, I must go upstairs and wash them."

As soon as Lady R--left the room, Master Lionel began.

"Feast of reason and flow of soul; I don't like such entertainment.
Give me a good supper and plenty of champagne."

"Why, what matter can it make to you?" said I, laughing.

"It matters a good deal. I object to literary parties," replied he.
"In the first place, for one respectable carriage driving up to the
door, there are twenty cabs and jarveys, so that the company isn't so
good; and then at parties, when there is a good supper, I get my share
of it in the kitchen. You don't think we are idle down below. I have
been to Mrs Allwood's twice, and there's no supper, nothing but feast
of reason, which remains upstairs, and they're welcome to my share of
it. As for the drink, it's negus and cherry-water; nothing else, and if
the flow of soul is not better than such stuff, they may have my share
of that also. No music, no dancing, nothing but buzz, buzz, buzz.
Won't you feel it stupid!"

"Why, one would think you had been upstairs instead of down, Lionel."

"Of course I am. They press all who have liveries into the service, and
I hand the cakes about rather than kick for hours at the legs of the
kitchen-table. I hear all that's said just as well as the company, and
I've often thought I could have given a better answer than I've heard
some of your great literaries. When I hand the cakes to-night, take
them I point out to you: they'll be the best."

"Why, how can you tell?"

"Because I try them all before I come in the room."

"You ought to be ashamed to acknowledge it."

"All comes of reading, miss," replied he. "I read that in former times
great people, kings and princes and so on, always had their victuals
tasted first, lest there should be poison in them: so I taste upon that
principle, and I have been half-poisoned sometimes at these cheap
parties, but I'm getting cunning, and when I meet a suspicious-looking
piece of pastry,