few days. Our preceptor, the great
archer Drona, adored by all the kings, was approached by me and addressed
falsely in respect of his son. The memory of that act of mine is burning
all my limbs. The preceptor said unto me, 'Tell me truly, O king, whether
my son liveth still.' Expecting truth from me, the Brahmana asked me of
all others. By silently uttering the word 'elephant,' I behaved falsely
towards him. Sinful that I am, exceedingly covetous of kingdom, and a
slayer of my reverend seniors, I behaved even thus towards my preceptor
in battle, throwing off the garb of truth (which I was believed to wear),
for I said unto him that Aswatthaman had been killed when, in fact, an
elephant of that name had been slain. To what regions shall I go
(thereafter), having perpetrated such infamous deeds? I caused also my
eldest brother Karna to be slain, that terrible warrior who never
retreated from battle. Who is there more sinful than I? Through
covetousness I caused Abhimanyu of tender years, that hero who resembled
a lion born in the hills, to penetrate into the array that was protected
by Drona himself. I am like one guilty of infanticide. Sinful as I am, I
have not since then, been able to look Arjuna or the lotus-eyed Krishna
in the face. I grieve also for Draupadi who is bereft of her five sons
like the Earth bereft of her five mountains. I am a great offender, a
great sinner, and a destroyer of the earth! Without rising from this seat
that I now occupy, I will weaken my body (by starvation) and meet with
death. Know me who am the slayer of my preceptor as one that has sat down
here in the observance of the Praya vow. An exterminator of my race, I
must do so in order that I may not he reborn in any of other orders of
beings![78] I shall forgo all food and drink, and without moving from
this place, O great ascetic, shall dry up my life-breaths that are so
dear. I pray you with humility, grant me permission in this and go
whithersoever you please. Let every one grant me permission. I shall cast
off this body of mine."'

"Vaisampayana continued, 'Restraining Pritha's son who, stupefied by
sorrow on account of his kinsmen, uttered such words, Vyasa, that best of
ascetics, spoke as follows, first telling him, "This can not be!"

"'Vyasa said, "It behoveth thee not, O monarch, to indulge in such
poignant grief. I shall repeat what I have once said. All this is
Destiny, O puissant one! Without doubt, all creatures that are bor