Burr
major, Burr junior,--humph! ought to be Burr minor,--Natural History
Mercer who loves poaching the General's rabbits, Dicksee, and Hodson."

The Doctor looked severe, but not very, as he inspected us all.

"Hah!" he ejaculated at last; "four as disreputable-looking fellows as
it would be possible to find in the lowest town in Sussex. Aren't you
ashamed of yourselves?"

"No answer, eh?" said the Doctor, after a pause. "Well, Hodson, you are
not like these four. You did not fight, I suppose."

"No, sir. I was Burr major's second."

"That's almost as bad as the fighting. Come, you shall speak out. Who
was in the wrong?"

"Please, sir, I'd rather not give an opinion."

"Please, sir, I know!" cried Dicksee.

"Thank you. I would rather take some other boy's opinion," cried the
Doctor sarcastically. "Your eyes don't look as if you can see clearly.
There, it is plain enough to me that you were all in the wrong, and I
feel greatly annoyed to find my young gentlemen conducting themselves
like the disreputable low boys who frequent the fairs and racecourses of
the county. Look at yourselves. Did you ever see such a ghastly sight?
Burr major, your face is horrible. As for you, Dicksee, I am ashamed
of you. Suppose any of your relatives presented themselves at this
moment, and wanted to see you. What could I say? There, actually, as I
speak, I can hear wheels coming up the road, and, as they are light
wheels, they must either be those of visitors, or of the butcher's
cart--I--er--mean some trade-person's cart, which is not likely at this
time of day. Fighting, young gentlemen, is a brutal practice, dating
back to the very earliest ages of mankind, and no doubt imitated from
the wild beasts whom they saw around them. Whereas you live in these
later days, in the midst of civilisation in its highest, most cultivated
forms, so that there is no excuse whatever for your acts."

The Doctor coughed, and the two ushers looked at each other and nodded
their approval.

"Look at yourselves," continued the Doctor; and we all turned sharply to
gaze in a small circular mirror at the end of the library.

"No, no," said the Doctor blandly, "I did not mean at your bodily
disfigurations in the glass, but at the mental blurs in your natures.
I--There, boys!" he cried suddenly; "I am not in the vein to moralise in
this way, so I must speak plainly. I am ashamed of you, and, occupying
as I do toward you the temporary po