"joy plank"
bisects the stalls of the Savoy is untrue and deserves the severest denial.

One of Mr. Punch's livest although middle-aged wires, who has been
interviewing the great managers of the Metropolis--and by great he means
those most likely to become revivalists--says that it is the same tale with
all. For example, Mr. FRED TERRY, interviewed at his home near the Zoo, in
his study furnished with the works of all the greatest writers, from the
Baroness ORCZY to HAVELOCK ELLIS, admitted that it was perfectly true that
he was contemplating a revival of _The Three Musketeers_, with certain
alterations to bring it into line with modern taste in warrior heroes.

"To-day," said Mr. TERRY, "as you may have noticed, soldiers wear khaki.
Very well then, the musketeers shall wear khaki. They shall also be
transformed into Englishmen and be made recognisable and friendly. Thus
_D'Artagnan_ will become an airman, _Aramis_ a padre with fighting
instincts, _Athos_ a general, and _Porthos_ an officer in the A.S.C. A
certain amount of re-writing and adjusting is necessary, but that will
come."

In order to find Mr. GEORGE GROSSMITH, of the old firm of Grossmith and
Laurillard, who is now, as all the world, and especially Germany, knows, a
conning-tower of strength in the Navy, it is necessary to visit the North
Sea; but Mr. Punch's middle-aged men stick at nothing.

"Yes," said Mr. GROSSMITH, "we are doing _The Bells_. Mr. IRVING has kindly
leased it to us. But we are not adhering too slavishly to the plot, nor
does he wish us to; and, in fact, we have turned the part made so famous by
Mr. IRVING'S father into something a shade more droll, to suit Mr. LESLIE
HENSON, than whom, I take the liberty of thinking,"--here the young officer
saluted--"no funnier comedian now walks the boards. We are also changing
the title from _The Bells_ to _The Belles_, as being more in keeping with
Gaiety traditions. But I must ask you to excuse me; I fancy Sir DAVID
BEATTY wants me."

But the most interesting case of revision will be that of _The School for
Scandal_, because, two managements being at work upon it, each with
somewhat peculiar ideas, the public will be presented, at the same time,
with versions so unlike as to amount to two different plays. And this
suggests how valuable is Mr. IRVING'S lead, for it means that one old play
can be multiplied into as many new plays as the thoroughly conscientious
brains through which it passes. The tw