D.,"
Pray, tell us, whomso'er you be,
D'ye think a lady's heart you'll gain
By such a process? O how vain!

(_a_) These monstrosities--I mean the _balloons_, not the bards--are
now out of date--thank goodness!

With us, we hold in blank disgrace
The man who fears to show his face.
A tim'rous heart we all despise:
But we adore the flashing eyes,
The manly form--the lofty hand;
The soul created to command.
Love comes to us, no bidden guest,
For him who loves and rules us best.
The rosy god lights not his taper
For him who, in a trading paper,
Behind a printed notice screens,
And fears to tell us what he means.
Why don't he to the busy marts
Come forth and seige our tender hearts?
'Tis wrong to buy pigs in a poke:
To wed so--what a silly joke!
In promenade, church, or bazaar,
At proper moments, there we are,
To be secured by manly hearts,
And, when secured, to do our parts
To temper life with him we love,
And woman's fondest instincts prove;
To yield submission to his will,
And, faulty though, to love him still.
Then "M. C. D." I pray refrain:
By means like these no wife you'll gain:
If you've no manlier mode to try,
We'll single live, and single die.

FRAGMENTS AND TRIFLES.

SYMPATHY.

A Wit, reduced in means, in Market-place
Hawk'd buns all hot. A chum, with sorrowing face,
Came up--condoled: the Wit exclaimed "Have done!
"Your sympathy be bothered--BUY A BUN!"

A FRAGMENT.

Once on a time a grimy sweep
Was creeping down the street,
When Quartern Loaf, the biker's boy,
Below he chanced to meet:
"Sweep!" sneered the baker: and the sweep
Gave Puff a sooty flout;
But Puff-crumb did not deal in soot,
So turned his face about;
Nor did he care to soundly drub
The imp of dirty flues:
"Go change your clothes!" said he, "and then
"I'll thrash you when you choose!
"It will not do for me to fight
"With such a sooty elf;
"My jacket's white, 'twould soon be black
"By tussling with yourself!"

LAW VERSUS THEOLOGY:

ON AN EMINENT COUNTY COURT JUDGE.

Some pulpit preachers think so very deep
That drowsy listeners find themselves asleep;
But the deep-thoughted law which ---- teaches
Makes "wide awake" all those to whom _he_ preaches.

THE BROKEN MODEL:

TO ONE WHO WELL DESERVED THE STRICTURES WHICH
THESE LINES CONTAIN.

When N