ce_' on a perfect equality, and a
'millionaire;' or, for that matter, a 'billionaire,' if we had him, would
not hesitate to take out of his mouth a moiety of his last 'chew' and give
it to an itinerant Lazarus. What can be more admirable than this 'de bon
air' plebeianism, and universal right-hand of fellowship? Does not he who
extends among the people the use of this democratizing weed, emphatically
give them a '_quid_ pro quo?' Are not slovenliness and filth the virtues
of republics, while neatness and elegance are vices of court-growth, and
expand into their most ramified and minute perfectness of polish only in
the palaces of kings? Furthermore, oh laurelled and triumphant PICKWICK!
if expectoration be filthy, it must be because the 'thing expectorated' is
unclean; and if so, is it not more decent to become rid of the 'unclean
thing' by the readiest process, than to retain it, making the stomach a
receptacle of abominations? And are you, Sir Baronet of the realm
imaginary, subject to no gross corporeal needs and operations? And if, as
you will say, you perform those foul rites in a state of retiracy, are you
not adding the sin of hypocrisy to your preexistent guilt? If it has
succeeded to you, as to few penny-a-liners, to have emerged by the sale of
your Attic-salt from the attics of Grub-street into the 'swept and
garnished chambers' of the Regent, and if after quaffing the ale of
Bow-street, procured by caricatures of Old Baily reports, you have sipped
your hockheimer, while standing, scarce yet unbewildered, in the gas-light
splendor reflected from the 'vis-a-vis' mirrors of Almack's, yet do not
exalt yourself above all that is fleshly. Reflect that you, so lately
unrivalled, can now see a EUGENE SUE whose brow is umbraged by laurels of
a more luxuriant and lovely green. Cease your expectorations of bile upon
a great people; admit that mastication of the 'odorous vegeble' is a
Spartan virtue; and we will again vote you an Anak in the kingdom of pen
and paper. Then again shall we be led to believe that your praises and
your vituperations are equally unpurchasable. Then once more shall we
think you would swallow no golden pill, nor suffer your throat to be
ulcerated by a silver quinsy.'

GOSSIP WITH READERS AND CORRESPONDENTS.--If any of our readers are
desirous of looking into the _rationale_ of irrationality, to employ a
highly 'unitive' phrase, let them take up, if they can command it, the
'_Annual Report of th