parsons, both Bowden and Powell, and another
who had no parish in it, threatened us with the just wrath of the
Church, unless each had tithes of the whole of it.

Now this was not as it ought to be; and it seemed as if by burning the
nest of robbers, we had but hatched their eggs; until being made sole
guardian of the captured treasure (by reason of my known honesty) I
hit upon a plan, which gave very little satisfaction; yet carried this
advantage, that the grumblers argued against one another and for the
most part came to blows; which renewed their goodwill to me, as being
abused by the adversary.

And my plan was no more than this--not to pay a farthing to lord of
manor, parson, or even King's Commissioner, but after making good some
of the recent and proven losses--where the men could not afford to
lose--to pay the residue (which might be worth some fifty thousand
pounds) into the Exchequer at Westminster; and then let all the
claimants file what wills they pleased in Chancery.

Now this was a very noble device, for the mere name of Chancery, and the
high repute of the fees therein, and low repute of the lawyers, and the
comfortable knowledge that the woolsack itself is the golden fleece,
absorbing gold for ever, if the standard be but pure; consideration of
these things staved off at once the lords of the manors, and all the
little farmers, and even those whom most I feared; videlicet, the
parsons. And the King's Commissioner was compelled to profess himself
contented, although of all he was most aggrieved; for his pickings would
have been goodly.

Moreover, by this plan I made--although I never thought of that--a
mighty friend worth all the enemies, whom the loss of money moved. The
first man now in the kingdom (by virtue perhaps of energy, rather than
of excellence) was the great Lord Jeffreys, appointed the head of the
Equity, as well as the law of the realm, for his kindness in hanging
five hundred people, without the mere brief of trial. Nine out of ten
of these people were innocent, it was true; but that proved the merit of
the Lord Chief Justice so much the greater for hanging them, as showing
what might be expected of him, when he truly got hold of a guilty man.
Now the King had seen the force of this argument; and not being without
gratitude for a high-seasoned dish of cruelty, had promoted the only man
in England, combining the gifts of both butcher and cook.

Nevertheless, I do beg you all to believ