w me the most
Respect, and make me the greatest Professions of friendship. They not
only offer'd me their Purses, but even their Wives and Daughters, whom
they often left with me and whose Immodesty has often put me to the
Blush. Nay, a _Boutofallalian_, a Title answering to our Duke, told me,
if I continued this Shyness, and would not do him the Honour to pass now
and then an Hour with his Lady, he shou'd not take me for his Friend;
and leaving her with me, he lock'd the Door.

Her Grace was as generous as her Spouse; and when I urg'd the Difference
of our Species, she said, she was satisfied that wou'd be no Impediment,
by what she had seen, for I had indeed no other Covering than a Mantle,
and both his Majesty and his _Squabbaws_ took a Pleasure to teaze me, by
pulling it off, and leaving me naked in a full Circle. In short, I was
forc'd to save my self by the Window being on a Ground Floor, after all
my Excuses were to no Purpose: But fearing the Lady's Resentment, I
begg'd the Minister, exaggerating her Husband's Merits, to give him a
Pension, and I my self carried and delivered the Grant to her Grace,
which made my Peace with both.

One Day, an old Colonel, who was very poor, accosted me in the Emperor's
Garden. _My Lord_, said he, _I beg you will vouchsafe me an Audience of
Quarter of an Hour; I shall look upon it as the greatest Condescension
in you, and as the greatest Honour done me._ I told him he mistook my
Title, and gave me one I never did aspire to; but that I was very ready
to hear and serve him, for I had seen him often at Court offering
Petitions, which were always rejected, and I had a Compassion for him.

"Your Goodness, _said he_, can alone be equalled by your Modesty;
give me Leave then to tell you, I have served long and faithfully
in the late Wars against the _Owls_ and _Magpyes_, but to my great
Surprize, at my Return home; my Regiment, without any Fault
alledg'd, was taken from me, and given to a _Valet de Chambre_ who
had never seen an Enemy; his Master was a _Boutofallalian_, had a
Mind to reward his Pimp, and all that I cou'd say, might as well
have been let alone. I had no Estate but what I sold, and gave to a
Courtier to get this Regiment, after I had served many Years as a
Captain, without the least Blemish in my Character. I have since
been in almost a starving Condition, and have wearied my self out
with Petitions to no Purpose; for if any, as very few, were