tain Culverin now entered, swathed up, and, as was evident, somewhat
tipsy.

"Eh! confound me, philosopher, your hand," he exclaimed, putting out his
own to shake hands with him.

"I can't, sir," replied Cooke; "I am afflicted with rheumatism. You seem
unwell, captain; but if you gave up spirituous liquors--such as wine and
usquebaugh--you would find yourself the better for it."

"What does all this mean?" asked Manifold. "At all events Doolittle's a
rat. A vegetable diet, a year of famine, toast, and water--O Lord!"

Dinner, however, came, and the little waggish doctor could not, for the
life of him, avoid his jokes. Cooke's dish of vegetables was placed for
him at a particular part of the table; but the doctor, taking Manifold
by the hand, placed him in the philosopher's seat, whom he afterwards
set before a magnificent sirloin of beef--for, truth to speak, the
little man acted as a kind of master of the ceremonies to the company at
Ballyspellan.

"What's this?" exclaimed Manifold. "Perdition! here is nothing but a
dish of asparagus before me! What kind of treatment is this? Were we not
to have a great dinner, Topertoe? Alexander the Great!"

"And who placed me before a sirloin of beef?" asked the philosopher;
"I, who follow the principles of the Great Pythagorean. I am nearly sick
already with the fume of it. Good heavens! a sirloin of beef before a
vegetarian."

Of course Manifold and the philosopher exchanged places, and the dinner
proceeded. Mr. and. Mrs. Goodwin were present, but Alice was unable to
come, although anxious to do so in order to oblige her parents. It is
unnecessary to describe the gastric feats of Manifold and Topertoe. The
voracity of the former was astonishing, nor was that of the latter much
less; and when the dishes were removed and the tables cleared for their
compotations, the faces of both gentlemen appeared as if they were about
to explode. The table was now supplied with every variety of liquor, and
the conversation began to assume that convivial tone peculiar to such
assemblies. The little doctor was placed between Manifold and the
Pythagorean, who, by the way, was exceedingly short-sighted; and on the
other side of him sat Parson Topertoe, who seemed to feel something
like a reprieve from his gout. When the liquor was placed on the table,
after dinner, the Pythagorean got to his feet, filled a large glass of
water, and taking a gulp of it, leaving it about half full, he proceeded