&c., with the lady.

_Should a Courtship be Short or Long_?

The answer to this question must depend on the previous
acquaintanceship, connection, or relationship of the parties, as well
as on their present circumstances, and the position of their parents.
In case of relationship or old acquaintanceship subsisting between
the families, when the courtship, declaration, and engagement have
followed each other rapidly, a short wooing is preferable to a long
one, should other circumstances not create an obstacle. Indeed, as a
general rule, we are disposed strongly to recommend a short courtship.
A man is never well settled in the saddle of his fortunes until he be
married. He wants spring, purpose, and aim; and, above all, he wants
a _home_ as the centre of his efforts. Some portion of inconvenience,
therefore, may be risked to obtain this; in fact, it often occurs that
by waiting too long the freshness of life is worn off, and that the
generous glow of early feelings becomes tamed down to lukewarmness
by a too prudent delaying; while a slight sacrifice of ambition or
self-indulgence on the part of the gentleman, and a little descent
from pride of station on the lady's side, might have ensured years of
satisfied love and happy wedded life.

On the other hand, we would recommend a long courtship as advisable
when--the friends on both sides favouring the match--it happens
that the fortune of neither party will prudently allow an immediate
marriage. The gentleman, we will suppose, has his way to make in his
profession or business, and is desirous not to involve the object of
his affection in the distressing inconvenience, if not the misery,
of straitened means. He reflects that for a lady it is an actual
degradation, however love may ennoble the motive of her submission, to
descend from her former footing in society. He feels, therefore, that
this risk ought not to be incurred. For, although the noble and
loving spirit of a wife might enable her to bear up cheerfully against
misfortune, and by her endearments soothe the broken spirit of her
husband; yet the lover who would wilfully, at the outset of wedded
life, expose his devoted helpmate to the ordeal of poverty, would be
deservedly scouted as selfish and unworthy. These, then, are among the
circumstances which warrant a lengthened engagement, and it should be
the endeavour of the lady's friends to approve such cautious delay,
and do all they can to assist the lover in