weigh only one
pound eleven ounces and--

TOBY-DOG

You've said that already. What makes you so little?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_from the piano_)

She's ugly, and has an evil odor. Her paws are deformed, she can't stand
still an instant, and this dog takes pains to make himself fascinating!

THE LITTLE DOG, (_very coquettish and talkative_) It's my lineage, of
course. One can hold me in a muff. You've seen my new collar? It's
gold....

TOBY-DOG

And what's that hanging from it?

THE LITTLE DOG

My mother's medal, Sir. I always wear it. I come from the _Palais de
Glace_, where I made quite a hit. Imagine! I wanted to bite a gentleman
who was speaking to my mistress. _How_ they laughed!

(_She wriggles and chirps_.)

TOBY-DOG, (_aside_)

What an odd creature! Is she _really_ a dog? (_Sniffs_.) Yes ... smells
of rice powder, but it's a dog just the same. (_Aloud_.) Sit down a
moment, it makes me quite dizzy to see you moving about so.

THE LITTLE DOG

Certainly. (_She lies down, like a miniature greyhound, crossing her
fore-paws to show the slimness of her toes_.) You were here all alone?

TOBY-DOG, (_looking toward the piano_)

Yes, no other dog. Why?

THE LITTLE DOG

There's a strange odor.

TOBY-DOG

The Cat, doubtless.

THE LITTLE DOG

The Cat? What's a Cat? I've never seen one. Do they leave you in the
room all alone?

TOBY-DOG

It happens so now and then.

THE LITTLE DOG

And you don't bark? _I_ cry as soon as I'm left alone. I'm bored,
afraid, feel sick, and chew up the cushions.

TOBY-DOG

And then you're whipped.

THE LITTLE DOG, (_insulted_)

I'm--what did you say? You're losing your senses, I imagine. (_Suddenly
amiable again_.) That would be a pity. You have lovely eyes.

TOBY-DOG

Haven't I? They show well, don't they? They're large, and then they
stick out. She says I have eyes like a lobster's, and sometimes She says
"his beautiful seal's eyes, his frog-like eyes of gold."

THE LITTLE DOG

Who's She?

TOBY-DOG, (_simple_)

She.

THE LITTLE DOG

I don't understand all you say, but I find you so _very_ sympathetic!
What are you doing this evening?

TOBY-DOG

Why ... I dine.

THE LITTLE DOG

Naturally! I wanted to know whether they receive here this evening, or
do _you_ go out?

TOBY-DOG

No, I've been out already.

THE LITTLE DOG

Driving?

TOBY-DOG

Walking--of course.

THE LITTLE DOG

Why, of course? I hardly stir except in a carriage.