time I have
developed my idea, you will agree with me that the revenge I have
chalked out, sir, is worthy of an inventive talent higher than my
own."

"No, no," said Ralph, in a tone of remonstrance, "you know there could
be none."

"Yes," said Mr. Jinks, modestly, "I know myself, sir--I have very
little merits, but there are those who are superior to me in that
point."

Which seemed to mean that the quality of invention was the sole
failing in Mr. Jinks' intellect--all his other mental gifts being
undoubtedly superior to similar gifts in humanity at large.

"Well, we won't interchange compliments, my dear fellow," replied
Ralph, puffing at his pipe; "go on and explain about the Dutch and
Irish--I repeat, that I absolutely know nothing of them."

Mr. Jinks sipped his rum, and after a moment's silence, commenced.

"You must know," he said, "that for some reason which I cannot
explain, there is a quarrel between these people which has lasted a
very long time, and it runs to a great height--"

"Indeed!"

"Yes; and on certain days there is a feeling which can only be
characterized by the assertion that the opposite parties desire to
suffuse the streets and public places with each other's gory blood!"

"No, no!" said Ralph; "is it possible!"

"Yes, sir, it is more--it is true," said Mr. Jinks, with dignity. "I
myself have been present on such occasions; and the amount of national
feeling displayed is--is--worse than mouldy cloth," observed Mr.
Jinks, at a loss for a simile, and driven, as he, however, very seldom
was, to his profession for an illustration.

"I wonder at that," said Ralph; "as bad as mouldy cloth? I never would
have thought it!"

"Nevertheless it's true--dooms true," said Mr. Jinks; "and there
are particular days when the rage of the parties comes up in one
opprobrious concentrated mass!"

This phrase was borrowed from Miss Sallianna. Mr. Jinks, like other
great men, was not above borrowing without giving the proper credit.

"On St. Patrick's day," he continued, "the Dutch turn out in a body--"

"One moment, my dear fellow; I don't like to interrupt you, but this
St. Patrick you speak of--he was the great saint of Ireland, was he
not?"

"Good--continue; on St. Patrick's day--"

"The Dutch assemble and parade a figure--you understand, either of
wood or a man--a figure representing St. Patrick--"

"Possible!"

"Yes; and round his neck they place a string of Irish potatoes, like a
nec