Jinks; but proceed! On St.
Michael's day--the patron saint of the Dutch--"

"On that day, sir, the Irish retort upon the Dutch by parading an
image--wooden or alive--of St. Michael--"

"No!"

"An image," continued Mr. Jinks, not heeding this interruption, "which
resembles St. Michael--that is, a hogshead."

"Yes," laughed Ralph, "I understand how a Dutch saint--"

"Is fat; that is natural, sir. They dress him in six pair of
pantaloons, which I have heretofore, I am ashamed to say,
fabricated,"--Mr. Jinks frowned here,--"then they hang around his neck
a rope of sour krout--"

"No, no!" cried Ralph.

"And so parade him," continued Mr. Jinks.

Ralph remained silent again, as though overwhelmed by this picture.

"The consequence is, that the Irish feel themselves insulted,"
Mr. Jinks went on, "and they attack the Dutch, and then the whole
street--"

"Is suffused in gory blood, is it not?" said Ralph, inquiringly.

"It is, sir," said Mr. Jinks; "and I have known the six pair of
pantaloons, made by my own hands, to be torn to tatters."

"Possible!"

"Yes, sir!" said Mr. Jinks, irate at the recollection of those old
scenes--he had been compelled to mend the torn pantaloons more than
once--"yes, sir, and the wretches have proceeded even to shooting and
cutting, which is worthy of them, sir! On some days, the Dutch and
the Irish parade their images together, and then St. Patrick and
St. Michael are brought face to face; and you may understand how
disgraceful a mob they have--a mob, sir, which, as a military man, I
long to mow with iron cannons!"

And after this dreadful simile, Mr. Jinks remained silent, Ralph also
held his peace for some moments; then he said:

"But your revenge; how is that connected, my dear fellow, with the
contentions of Dutch and Irish?"

Mr. Jinks frowned.

"Thus, sir," he said; "I will explain." "Do; I understand you to say
that these customs of the two parties were the materials upon which
your genius would work. How can you--"

"Listen, sir," said Mr. Jinks.

"I'm all ears," returned Ralph.

"Three days from this time," said Mr. Jinks, "these people have
determined to have a great parade, and each of them, the Dutch and
Irish, to exhibit the images of the Saints--"

"Yes--ah?" said Ralph.

"It is fixed for the time I mention; and now, sir, a few words
will explain how, without damage to myself, or endangering my
person--considerations which I have no right to neglect--my