world at large, but, at any
rate, it ought to do so. And the man in question, my own father, who
had starved himself to save me! Better had I been the most illegal child
ever issued into this cold world, than dare to think so of my father,
and then find him the model of every thing.

To hide the perjury, avarice, and cowardice of his father, and to
appease the bitter wrong, he had even bowed to take the dark suspicion
on himself, until his wronged and half-sane brother (to whom, moreover,
he owed his life) should have time to fly from England. No doubt he
blamed himself as much as he condemned the wretched criminal, because
he had left his father so long unwarned and so unguarded, and had
thoughtlessly used light words about him, which fell not lightly on a
stern, distempered mind. Hence, perhaps, the exclamation which had told
against him so.

And then when he broke jail--which also told against him terribly--to
revisit his shattered home, it is likely enough that he meant after that
to declare the truth, and stand his trial as a man should do. But his
wife, perhaps, in her poor weak state, could not endure the thought of
it, knowing how often jury is injury, and seeing all the weight against
him. She naturally pledged him to pursue his flight, "for her sake,"
until she should be better able to endure his trial, and until he should
have more than his own pure word and character to show. And probably
if he had then been tried, with so many things against him, and no
production of that poor brother, his tale would have seemed but a flimsy
invention, and "Guilty" would have been the verdict. And they could not
know that, in such case, the guilty man would have come forward, as we
shall see that he meant to do.

When my father heard of his dear wife's death, and believed, no doubt,
that I was buried with the rest, the gloom of a broken and fated man,
like polar night, settled down on him. What matter to him about public
opinion or any thing else in the world just now? The sins of his father
were on his head; let them rest there, rather than be trumpeted by him.
He had nothing to care for; let him wander about. And so he did for
several years, until I became a treasure to him--for parental is not
intrinsic value--and then, for my sake, as now appeared, he betook us
both to a large kind land.

Revolving these things sadly, and a great many more which need not be
told, I thought it my duty to go as soon as possible to Bru