ut just so. Nobody was aware of microbes.

In short, our sires and our grandsires abode in the midst of perils.
They were surrounded on all sides by things that are immediately fatal
to the human system. Not a single one of them had a right to pass his
second birthday. In the light of what we know, we realize that by now
this world should be but a barren waste dotted at frequent intervals
with large graveyards and populated only by a few dispossessed and
hungry bacteria, hanging over the cemetery fence singing: Driven From
Home!

In the conditions generally prevalent up to twenty-five years ago, most
of us never had any license, really, to be born at all. Yet look how
many of us are now here. In this age of research I hesitate to attempt
to account for it, except on the entirely unscientific theory that what
you don't know doesn't hurt you. Doubtless a physician could give you a
better explanation, but his would cost you more than mine has.

But we digress. Let us get back to our main subject, which is myself. I
shall never forget my first real meal in that hospital. There was quite
a good deal of talk about it beforehand. My nurse kept telling me that
on the next day the doctor had promised I might have something to eat.
I could hardly wait. I had visions of a tenderloin steak smothered in
fried onions, and some French-fried potatoes, and a tall table-limit
stack of wheat cakes, and a few other incidental comfits and kickshaws.
I could hardly wait for that meal.

The next day came and she brought it to me, and I partook thereof. It
was the white of an egg. For dessert I licked a stamp; but this I did
clandestinely and by stealth, without saying anything about it to her. I
was not supposed to have any sweets.

On the occasion of the next feast the diet was varied. I had a sip of
one of those fermented milk products. You probably know the sort of
thing I mean. Even before you've swallowed it, it tastes as though it
had already disagreed with you. The nurse said this food was predigested
but did not tell me by whom. Nor did I ask her. I started to, but
thought better of it. Sometimes one is all the happier for not knowing
too much.

A little later on, seeing that I had not suffered an attack of
indigestion from this debauch, they gave me junket. In the dictionary I
have looked up the definitions of junket. I quote:

JUNKET, v. I. t. To entertain by feasting; regale. II. i. To
give or take part in an enterta