r soup fell on the floor
An' nearly drowned the cat;
The stove was knocked to smithereens.
O'Grady's goat doon that.

O'Hoolerhan brought home a keg
Ave dannymite wan day
To blow a cistern in his yard
An' hid the stuff away.
But suddinly an airthquake coom,
O'Hoolerhan, house an' hat,
And ivrything in sight wint up,
O'Grady's goat doon that.

Will S. Hays

[Illustration: Goat Attacking a Swing.]

The Goat and the Swing

A little story with a moral
For the young folks who are prone to quarrel.
Old folks are wise, and do not need it,
Of course they, therefore, will not read it.

A vicious goat, one day, had found
His way into forbidden ground
When coming to the garden-swing,
He spied a most prodigious thing,--
A ram, a monster, to his mind,
With head before and head behind!

Its shape was odd--no hoofs were seen,
But, without legs, it stood between
Two uprights, lofty posts of oak,
With forehead ready for a stroke.

Though but a harmless ornament
Carved of the seat, it seemed intent
On barring the intruder's way;
While he, advancing, seemed to say,
"Who is this surly fellow here,
Two heads, no tail--it's mighty queer!
A most insulting countenance!"

With stamp of foot and angry glance
He curbed he threatening neck and stood
Before the passive thing of wood.
"You winked as I was going by!
You did not? What! tell me I lie?
Take that!" And at the swing he sprung.

A sounding thump! It backward swung,
And set in motion by the blow,
Swayed menacingly to and fro.
"Ha! you will fight! A quarrelsome chap,
I knew you were! You'll get a rap!
I'll crack your skull!" A headlong jump;
Another and a louder bump!

The swing, as with kindling wrath,
Came rushing back along the path.
The goat, astonished, shook his head,
Winked hard, turned round, grew mad, and said,
"Villain! I'll teach you who I am!"
(Or seemed to say,)--"you rascal ram,
To pick a fight with me, when I
So quietly am passing by!
Your head or mine!" A thundering stroke--
The cracking horns met crashing oak!

Then came a dull and muffled sound,
And something rolled along the ground,
Got up, looked sad--appeared to say,
"Your head's too hard!"--and limped away
Quite humbly, in a rumpled coat--
A dustier and a wiser goat!

J. T. Throwbridge

[Illustr